Vasetomy was a pleasant experience......

[Dobber1]

When I had mine done, that was the day the doctor had an intern doctor in there with him.

He says to me "Hey Jeff, do you mind if I let our intern here help with the procedure? Actually he will mostly be watching"

I am thinkin to myself "Oh great, lets lay my nuts out so Johnny the intern can meat gaze me"

I say "I guess they need to learn too, go ahead, let him stay"

So the doctor says "Johnny, go ahead and tape his unit up on his chest"

I think to myself "Chest?, what am I, Johnny the wad Holmes?, I am thinking of more like the lower navel area region"

So Johnny the intern attempts to do as he is told and grabs my junk and tries to tape my glory to my chest.

Well, that worked for about .8 seconds. My junk wants nothing to do with this procedure, and attempts to go "turtle"

With the combination of it being somewhat cold in the room, and my junk not wanting to participate in the horror, it decides to make a dash for the full covered wagon look (Even though I have been trimmed, it looked like like one of those ocean tube coral creatures you see while scuba diving)

So Johnny the intern sees that my junk is running the 6" dash, and attempts to retape my unit up where it was before. The tape was still there, but my unit escaped!

So Johnny tries to pull my junk out to meet where it was in the tape before. THAT AINT HAPPENIN!

From the time of the first taping, there was excessive "shrinkage" and my love wand was more like a love thimbal.

You would think that since Johnny was presumably a guy, that he would have a fu(ken clue about shrinkage, but NOOOOOOOO Johnny keeps pulling like this is a tug of war or something (Enough of that part, that will be reserved for a pending court case).

Finally the doctor says "Hey, I don't think at this point that "it" will be in the way of much of anything"

Well, there goes my ego, and any wild dreams of being a **** star.......

Doctor does the procedure, and all went well UNTIL he gets to cauterizing the tubes.

All of a sudden, I think I smell something smoldering and I think to myself there is some sort of fire in the clinic, and any moment someone will pull the fire alarm.

I soon realize that that smoldering is actually my junk about 14 degrees away from spontaneuos combustion!

I say to the doc "hey you roasting marshmallows down there?"

Doc gets a laugh at my expense of course, and about that time my pregnant wife enters the room with some loose fitting sweat pants that I forgot at home, and asked her to bring to the clinic.

I meant drop them off at the front desk, not come back and watch the doctor meat gazing me.

Yep she came in back with my three year old son while I am up on the rack getting my nuts sewn up.

I want them out of there, but before they could leave my son looks over between my legs and says "Dad?, why are they doing that? Don't you need those anymore?"

"Well son, daddy will explain when I get back home, now you and mom run along ok?"

My 10 year old is still in therapy for that little visit.....

Thanks! Only took 15 minutes to read this...eyes were watering so much from laughin' my arse off that I couldn't see!

 

[carguy]

Funny stories.
A buddy of mine said his doctor told him he needed to clear the tubes 20x before bringing the sample. Seven days after the clip he's at the doctor's office when the Doc see's him and asks if he's alright and didn't expect to see him back so soon. Buddy says he's fine and here's the sample you wanted. Doc was surprised & gave him a high-five for determination and persistance.

BTW....for the do-it-yourself-people....a how to vid!
http://www.maleinfertility.com/nsv5.ram
Now no reasons to fail when saving a buck....and not a nut.

 

[xrated]

Or another kid!!

i say that's more likely

 

[Weekday Warrior]

I have two post vasetomy siblings, also have some post vaso uncles and aunts.


vaso's not so reliable in my family, not goin down that road

 

[Scott]

Just make sure they show you the macaroni noodle AND the titanium clips. LOL

Good souveniers. HAHAHA

 

[motojunkie101]

Moto you have been digging up a lot of old stuff lately. LOL

What can I say? I was bored the other day and need a good laugh....some of these threads shouldn't be forgotten.

 

[PCDOC]

DAMN......... I just pissed myself reading these stories........ We are talking tears rolling down the cheeks laughing. Wife and I just had our first kid so I'm not due for this anytime soon.

After reading this I'll never be DUE!!

 

[TS Drag Racer]

Wife almost had me talked into getting one of these. After reading some of this sh!t, looks like it's another year. Lol

 

[Anylizer]

outta the office at 11:30 am nocked off a chunk that night..... went snowboarding waterski style behind snowmobile the next day...... couldn't walk for a week!!!!!! DUMB ***
Plus 6 shots in the sack before the cutting began..... think the doc was punishing me for getting it done so young, I was 23 A.

 

[H2SNOW]

and to think that I had one heck of a post regarding this here topic .......however "Mule" decided to just delete my post ..pulling the racsim card instead of tactfully changing a key word like a real man ......seems that any prick can be a mod a read outa the play book however it takes a real man to adjust and send on it's merry way .......

ps stop moving my sh1t and deleting my posts ..........I post stuff in the forum that I feel it fits I don't need some wanna be internet cop telling me where and what I am supposed to do ........

......................and if it aint that way then the thread that I posted for 36 hours regarding Christopher was true ...........................

 

[MARV1]

Birthcontrol for my honey, 'nuff said. Funny chit for sure.



No kidding Mike, way too many deletions going on your part.

 

[H2SNOW]

Birthcontrol for my honey, 'nuff said. Funny chit for sure.



No kidding Mike, way too many deletions going on your part.

got your back bro !

 

[Duke]

Just re-read some of the thread, LMMFAO !!

 

[Fosgate]

No way in hell will I voluntarily surrender my balls after reading this thread. I'm going to go kiss the girlfriend goodnight and go curl up in a fetal position and snuggle my balls till morning. Poor fellas are gonna have nightmares.

 

[Jeff C]

Ah, the old Vazzzzzzzzz thread

LMAO

 

[Beels]

Birthcontrol for my honey, 'nuff said.

That isn't exactly fool proof.