When I had mine done, that was the day the doctor had an intern doctor in there with him.
He says to me "Hey Jeff, do you mind if I let our intern here help with the procedure? Actually he will mostly be watching"
I am thinkin to myself "Oh great, lets lay my nuts out so Johnny the intern can meat gaze me"
I say "I guess they need to learn too, go ahead, let him stay"
So the doctor says "Johnny, go ahead and tape his unit up on his chest"
I think to myself "Chest?, what am I, Johnny the wad Holmes?, I am thinking of more like the lower navel area region"
So Johnny the intern attempts to do as he is told and grabs my junk and tries to tape my glory to my chest.
Well, that worked for about .8 seconds. My junk wants nothing to do with this procedure, and attempts to go "turtle"
With the combination of it being somewhat cold in the room, and my junk not wanting to participate in the horror, it decides to make a dash for the full covered wagon look (Even though I have been trimmed, it looked like like one of those ocean tube coral creatures you see while scuba diving)
So Johnny the intern sees that my junk is running the 6" dash, and attempts to retape my unit up where it was before. The tape was still there, but my unit escaped!
So Johnny tries to pull my junk out to meet where it was in the tape before. THAT AINT HAPPENIN!
From the time of the first taping, there was excessive "shrinkage" and my love wand was more like a love thimbal.
You would think that since Johnny was presumably a guy, that he would have a fu(ken clue about shrinkage, but NOOOOOOOO Johnny keeps pulling like this is a tug of war or something (Enough of that part, that will be reserved for a pending court case).
Finally the doctor says "Hey, I don't think at this point that "it" will be in the way of much of anything"
Well, there goes my ego, and any wild dreams of being a **** star.......
Doctor does the procedure, and all went well UNTIL he gets to cauterizing the tubes.
All of a sudden, I think I smell something smoldering and I think to myself there is some sort of fire in the clinic, and any moment someone will pull the fire alarm.
I soon realize that that smoldering is actually my junk about 14 degrees away from spontaneuos combustion!
I say to the doc "hey you roasting marshmallows down there?"
Doc gets a laugh at my expense of course, and about that time my pregnant wife enters the room with some loose fitting sweat pants that I forgot at home, and asked her to bring to the clinic.
I meant drop them off at the front desk, not come back and watch the doctor meat gazing me.
Yep she came in back with my three year old son while I am up on the rack getting my nuts sewn up.
I want them out of there, but before they could leave my son looks over between my legs and says "Dad?, why are they doing that? Don't you need those anymore?"
"Well son, daddy will explain when I get back home, now you and mom run along ok?"
My 10 year old is still in therapy for that little visit.....
