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Best quote's you've heard

You can have her.... but there ain't no bringin' her back

women are like buses.. another comes along every 5 minutes

girl who gives good h**d.. never get pregnant - Chinese Proverb

There's nothing in the world that beats the smell of a new car... except maybe for pu**y - Christine (the movie)

God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth.. So you can listen twice as much as you talk.
 
WWeellll, I've never seen one do that before!

You tear up more than ten men could fix.

Bringin him to work is like sendin two good men home

(over the CB) yeah, send the trucks up, it's good enough to haul logs today, but have one of 'em bring a chain to pull my pickup outta the ditch!
 
Shaking like a 7th grade cheerleader getting fingerfu(ked by her dirty uncle.


Hotter than a half fu(ked fox in a forest fire.
 
When I asked a guy at work, who had recently got married if his wife was pressuring for kids he replied; We pulled the goalie! Then an older co-worker who had been listening to conversation added; Soon you'll be playing short handed !
 
1. Like wipin' your *** with a hoop...there is no end to it.
2. He is so stupid he can't find his *** with his hands in his back pockets.
3. He is so stupid he can't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.
4. Sh*T in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.
 
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I'd slap you but $hit splatters -I feel like dog $hit run over twice-Fat chicks a$$ looks like two hippos wrestling in a gunny sack-munch Balls chopper-grab it, rub it, ride it-lick it, suck it, slam it -work hard, play hard, stay hard
 
graduating college in four years is like leaving a party at 10 o clock
madder than a co(ksucker on valentines day with lock jaw
i think you zigged when you should have zagged
obviously, when a moped gets impounded, some bad decisions have been made
*Snowmobiles are like women... work on them all week just to ride them on the weekend.
 
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Watch, this is going to be TITS on a Ritz

If A$$holes could fly this place would be a fu(king airport

Two strokes truck, four strokes suck

Lets be off like a new brides panties

Your not drunk as long as you can hang on to the floor :beer;:beer;
 
1) "The only difference between Genius and stupidity is that Genius has its limits"

2) "I have tried to see things your way, but I could never get my head that far up my a$$"

3) "You did not have fun if you don't come home with sand in your shorts"

4) "I swear, it just fell apart"

5) "Your a coward Shultz, now you go first" - Werner Klempler (Colonel Klink of Hogans Heroes)

6) "Do as I say, not as I do"

7) "You might be a Redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car"

8) "You can find who Man's best friend is by taking your dog and your girl friend and leaving them in the trunk of a car for 2 hours and see which one is happy to see you when you come back"

9) "Lift it because fat chicks can't jump"

10) "She is not allowed in unless her tits touch the wall before anything else"
 
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Wow, just when you think he couldn't get any worse. I swear that guy could phawk up a wet dream.

C'mon, one more.

Look at the big brain on _________.

Yeah, I guess the guy is pretty smart. some kind of rocket surgeon.
 
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