Best quote's you've heard

[2dabar]

cant drown them like kittens

 

[asu_gt]

i can't take credit for all of these, some of my favorites:

talk is cheap, it takes money to buy whiskey
if your aunt had balls she would be your uncle
you can buy them books and you can buy them horses, and what do they do? they stand on the books and fcuk the horses
you can lead a horse to water, and sometimes he just sh#@s in the trough
I don't want your best effort, give me 100%

i am sure some of my grad students leave my office thinking i have lost my mind as drop these lines on them...especially the foreign students.

 

[Gainster]

Way to not suck!

Works way better than telling my tech's good job!

 

[TheCatsMeow]

as happy as a bunny rabbit in heat

 

[Incher]

Can you keep a sercet?

 

[Zachcreek]

Drunk has nothing to do with it, I was born stupid.

I didn' get stuck, I ran out of options

Beer has food value, food has no beer value.

 

[Belle Star]

Piss in your boots and float

 

[longlostsks]

After your buddy smells one of your best farts....
"What was once in my ***, is now in your lungs" or
"Speak, o toothless one"

 

[kingofthemountain]

children in the backseat cause accidents, but accidents in the backseat cause children

 

[Jeff C]

You can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ***, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it.

 

[skidoosbest]

"What you get, when you don't get what you want is.....Experience"

 

[vdo1948]

"Be careful what you wish for ..., you just might get it."

and somewhat related,

"The two greatest disappointments in life are; 1) never getting what you've always wanted, and 2) getting what you've always wanted."

 

[dropitp*ssy]

No one's ugly when your balls are on their chin

 

[priest lake rmk]

No one's ugly when your balls are on their chin

I just blew beer all over.

 

[Gainster]

Their price's are higher than Nutt's on a giraffe

Duck or Bleed!!!!! from when canoe trips go bad.

 

[BCP]

My favorite saying from my 92 year old uncle Jim......

"Damn good thing I wasnt born a girl, or we'ed have a whore in the family!"

 

[BCP]

and one from my uncle Tom......

"If it doesnt meet your standards, lower your standards!"

from my good ridin buddy......

"Hold my helmet and watch this!"

And mine....

"Pu$$y is like ice cream, you have your favotie but its always good to try another flavor!"

 

[Van Epps]

FUC*ED is where I am, STUPID is how I got here!

^^^^^^^^^^
That one came to me today after I screwed up at work!