Jealousy?!?!?

[801]

what amazes me with this thread is some of the peeps that have become totally butt hurt and controlling over this thread~~~ it actually is a pretty good thread in my book~~ and yes~ i know there will be a select few that will be pizzed of because i posted this~~

 

[PJ-Hunter]

http://www.snowest.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3416772&posted=1#post3416772

 

[kevinm7]

My wife has come to the realization that women love the same sport/s that I do and it is inevitable that they will be involved in one way or another. She has a sled and only rides when her friend goes along with her husband (who I ride with almost every weekend). It works out both ways, if the wives don't want to go, then my buddy and I go ride and they have a girl's day. That makes her happy, although it probably costs me more in the long run. Those "girl's days" can get quite spendy. Especially if we are out of town riding and they decided to tag along haha.

Jealousy is a very powerful feeling. I have seen it absolutely destroy people and relationships. I truly do feel for those of you that have to deal with it, myself included at times.

 

[Skadi]

I didn't read all the comments... I got to Amy's about having respect for the 'wife who sits at home' (or who isn't good enough to get invited along on the trip)... I agree... I hate jealousy more than anything and have been 'the other woman' a few times but honestly in ALL My years riding I think that only actually happened ONCE and I do choose to pick my battles... And I choose to respect the woman who is at home. I try to speak to her when she's in the room with her significant other (whom I may have tons more in common with)....

I guess I just feel like there is a graceful way to deal with a LOT of situations out there.. Some you can't, and you just have to deal with those the ugly way... But I think a lot of people don't like to take the graceful way because it takes more effort, or it doesn't involve a fight or drama and some people actually like that stuff...

Regardless there is never any one answer to the situation... but putting a little thought in your actions sure will earn my respect (and often it will earn many other people's respect as well...)

I have many guy friends whom I am better friends with them than their wives... I don't know why this issue doesn't come up more often with me but it doesn't and I am GLAD!! Like I said, only ONCE have I gotten a call from a significant other; it sucked.... but that was only ONCE over YEARS of me having tons of guy friends and being single for most of that time... I do think that I just don't present myself as super flirtatious or available and that helps... (not saying you do!!! and who knows, maybe you just got all the nasty ones all at once!! hahahahaha)... Just saying... put some thought into it, think about how the other person might feel and think about your actions... It's always nice to be made to feel sexy or special.... but allowing another guy to provide that for you would take away from his relationship with his wife. When I'm with the guys out riding there are RARELY any inappropriate comments that I throw around, we'll giggle about stuff but I NEVER let it be directed to me so that it's the situation... not me... this helps keep everyone on a better path with no mixed feelings... and it's really not that difficult to act this way; just may mean I get less feminine type attention which I'm personally ok with -I make D or my GFs compliment me on how I look or what my sex appeal rating is for the day! hahahhaa

 

[Skadi]

I don't like that some men feel like they need to lie to their spouses about it too. ONE OF MY BIGGEST PET PEEVES! I think honesty is a must.

Well I scrolled up and read a few more while I scrolled.... Sounds like this has really been discussed into the ground!!

This did catch my eye though... and I AGREE!!! I REALLY don't like feeling like I have to sneak around about riding with someone. Like they have to have some code name for me or avoid me when we're in public!!! UGH!! no way!!

Maybe I'm just SUPER lucky though! I have a guy we started kinda riding with this year and I know he thinks highly of my skill but it felt great when I ran into him and his wife at a show recently and he introduced me and was proud to do so. His wife was super cool about it and spoke to some of our adventures together -so obviously he goes home and mentioned it to her.... Yeah... I could NOT deal with a dude lying just so that he could go ride with me... that would make me feel 'dirty' like we WERE doing something wrong!!

 

[Missy]

I didn't read all the comments... I got to Amy's about having respect for the 'wife who sits at home' (or who isn't good enough to get invited along on the trip)... I agree... I hate jealousy more than anything and have been 'the other woman' a few times but honestly in ALL My years riding I think that only actually happened ONCE and I do choose to pick my battles... And I choose to respect the woman who is at home. I try to speak to her when she's in the room with her significant other (whom I may have tons more in common with)....

I completely respect all of their spouses and have no issue meeting them or whatever would have made them feel comfortable in the situation. My issue with the whole situation as I have stated earlier, is that I was invited (very clearly) and confirmed (very clearly) that I would like to attend. Those other individuals who confirmed knew I had confirmed right after the Facebook invite was sent out. If their spouses have a problem with them going with a female in the group they should have not confirmed that they would go. If they wanted it to be an all male ride, why was I invited to attend in the first place?!?

I do think that I just don't present myself as super flirtatious or available and that helps... (not saying you do!!! and who knows, maybe you just got all the nasty ones all at once!! hahahahaha)... Just saying... put some thought into it, think about how the other person might feel and think about your actions... It's always nice to be made to feel sexy or special.... but allowing another guy to provide that for you would take away from his relationship with his wife. When I'm with the guys out riding there are RARELY any inappropriate comments that I throw around, we'll giggle about stuff but I NEVER let it be directed to me so that it's the situation... not me... this helps keep everyone on a better path with no mixed feelings... and it's really not that difficult to act this way; just may mean I get less feminine type attention which I'm personally ok with -I make D or my GFs compliment me on how I look or what my sex appeal rating is for the day! hahahhaa

I do always think about how others feel and regard my actions very carefully. I don't care about being made to feel sexy or special when I am riding! That is not the appropriate time or place for that. I don't take my sled to the back country to get feminine type attention. I go to ride, hang out with friends and have an awesome time!

 

[Missy]

Well I scrolled up and read a few more while I scrolled.... Sounds like this has really been discussed into the ground!!

This did catch my eye though... and I AGREE!!! I REALLY don't like feeling like I have to sneak around about riding with someone. Like they have to have some code name for me or avoid me when we're in public!!! UGH!! no way!!

I don't agree with men being dishonest with their wives either. I have plenty of riding buds that are honest with their wives about riding with me. Those are the guys I will ride with!

 

[m8braaaap]

I don't take my sled to the back country to get feminine type attention.

I DO!!!!

 

[Missy]

I DO!!!!

You guys crack me up! I am so ready to ride! BRING ON THE SNOW!

 

[Skadi]

Didn't mean to offend you if I did Missy... I was speaking in general terms, not trying to say that you DID do any of those things.. just saying what has helped me steer clear of drama over the years...

 

[Missy]

Didn't mean to offend you if I did Missy... I was speaking in general terms, not trying to say that you DID do any of those things.. just saying what has helped me steer clear of drama over the years...

I was just trying to clarify my specific situation Emily. I wasn't sure you understood since you had not read the whole thread.

 

[greenskeeper]

I will say this about my wife of 51 years , we started riding in 1969 and up till last year, whenever I said " do you want to go riding?" she would have a lunch and gear ready before I could get the sleds gassed and loaded, the thing I think is ride together and enjoy...... she was almost always the 2nd or third machine off road and always up to cross country, remember when we started there were no groomed trails, so it was always cross country........... we have slowed way down, now I am 77, we just do what we can and enjoy.........

 

[DanoXRS]

Missy, are you making either Forum ride this year?
Hope so...would love to ride with you again!

Dano.

 

[Missy]

I will say this about my wife of 51 years , we started riding in 1969 and up till last year, whenever I said " do you want to go riding?" she would have a lunch and gear ready before I could get the sleds gassed and loaded, the thing I think is ride together and enjoy...... she was almost always the 2nd or third machine off road and always up to cross country, remember when we started there were no groomed trails, so it was always cross country........... we have slowed way down, now I am 77, we just do what we can and enjoy.........

You are a very lucky man in many ways Greenskeeper!

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I hope you two have many many more happy years together

 

[Missy]

Missy, are you making either Forum ride this year?
Hope so...would love to ride with you again!

Dano.

I am going to Togwotee this year. I would love to come to the Canada ride, but not sure if I can swing it. See you in Tog?

 

[DanoXRS]

I am going to Togwotee this year. I would love to come to the Canada ride, but not sure if I can swing it. See you in Tog?

I'm 50 / 50 on Tog right now...hoping I can make it. Depends on work.
Hope you can make Sicamous, it's an awesome place to ride!

 

[Woops!]

I could care less 'bout attention for anything other than if I pull some mad riding skillz outta my a$$.... that being said, yes I put on blush & small earrings, (makes me feel good with the lines in my face) but I do that when I'm shooting moose too I've worked with guys at traditionally guy jobs whose wife didn't know a chick was out there with them for months, it wasn't because of anything inappropriate going on... it just made their lives easier at home, especially since they would've never met me to see how not-a-threat I am.
Still say you shouldn't have been voted off the island, the ones with the problem shoulda been.

 

[turbolover]

I am going to Togwotee this year. I would love to come to the Canada ride, but not sure if I can swing it. See you in Tog?

That would be great if you could come. I wouldn't have any problems with ya coming with us. Have to talk to Christopher about room as he's organizing the crew from IF.
Went to the Canada ride 2 years ago and it was an absolute blast. A great group of guys and some awesome riding.

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk

 

[Missy]

I could care less 'bout attention for anything other than if I pull some mad riding skillz outta my a$$.... that being said, yes I put on blush & small earrings, (makes me feel good with the lines in my face) but I do that when I'm shooting moose too I've worked with guys at traditionally guy jobs whose wife didn't know a chick was out there with them for months, it wasn't because of anything inappropriate going on... it just made their lives easier at home, especially since they would've never met me to see how not-a-threat I am.
Still say you shouldn't have been voted off the island, the ones with the problem shoulda been.

 

[MOWER800]

yep

If I could afford it Missy I would drive you up and ride with you in Canada. I think for me that would be a once in a lifetime opportunity and my wife and girlfriend would not be jealous at all if they couldn't go with us. I do wish my wife would buy a newer sled and come out to ride with us this year.