Riatalin anyone?? Recommended by school teachers everywhere so they don't have to put up with a normal kid or risk going off on your brats!
Witnessing child abuse
- Thread starter Camden
- Start date
Riatalin anyone?? Recommended by school teachers everywhere so they don't have to put up with a normal kid or risk going off on your brats!
There is a lot of damn good advice on this thread about minding you own business. I hope you really listen to them. One point which has been mentioned but I believe needs to be repeated again is odds are government intervention will do more harm then good.
I"m in my early 30's and I believe was raised at the tail end of the time when normal child raising involved Mom providing lots of love and a healthy sense of guilt and humility and Dad provided the fear/respect of authority and tools to become a respondsible adult. And yelling, grounding, spanking, open hand slaps and cuffs upside the back of the head were all part of the deal. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that much past 1990 that all changed somehow and not for the better.
I think all the comments about "setting" kids these days straight is interesting, read ignorant. Has those of you from this point of view ever thought that it may not be "kids these days" but instead "parents these days??" Kids, either fortunately or unfortunately, learn most of their behavior from their parents. So to blame "kids these days" is an a far cry from accountability. Discipline does should not equate to abuse. Abuse is separate and I agree with whoever said if they are doing this is public, then what are they doing at home?
No one can tell you what to do, but it sometimes helps to think ahead. And can you live/be happy with the decision you made right now in ?? years, knowing all the possible outcomes, no matter your decision??
No one can tell you what to do, but it sometimes helps to think ahead. And can you live/be happy with the decision you made right now in ?? years, knowing all the possible outcomes, no matter your decision??
it seems to me that most people on this thread agree with that notion, but they also note that fear of being reported to DCFS for suspected abuse keeps parents from doing their jobs... once you are in the DCFS database, you're there for life...
S
Superjag
Well-known member
That is exactly my point: That 50% of the parents are DOING NOTHING. Would you let your kid pull the sh*t you see at the mall?
I'm not on a "side". I'm a divorce/custody lawyer. And my comment was not directed towards whether what was seen rises to the level of abuse or whether the original poster should report what he saw. My comment was directed towards your comment about how many parents are "good and loving". I think the number is far less than you stated. The majority of the problems involving kids these days stem from a lack of solid parenting. I see it every day all day. Don't believe me? Look around. Go to the mall. Check out all the little gangsta wanna-bees hanging out. Pick up a paper and read about the latest kid shooting up his school. Half the kids today get their parenting from the internet or tv, if they get any parenting at all.
Whether or not you (reasonably) spank your kid isn't going to make half the difference in the long run that being an involved parent is. There are plenty of kids who get spanked that are still little f*ck-ups because their parents are f*ck-ups too, just like there are plenty of kids who never get hit, but still grow up and turn into good folks because of good parenting. And it seems as though fewer and fewer parents want or are willing to invest what it takes to be a good parent.
Sorry for the rant. This sh*t pisses me off.
because of the nature of your job you are likely seeing the worst of the worst under some less than ideal situations so i'd say you're estimates are far greater than you think as well... there are bad apples out there, no question, but parents shouldn't have to parent in fear of reprisal because of that... if i feel a slap in the face is exactly what the kid needs I shouldn't have to worry about someone calling the Cops/DCFS because they don't know the whole story... friends of mine have been "accused" by people outside and had to have DCFS come by and appraise the situation, and as an atty, you should know well and good that once you are in the database, you are pretty much screwed should anything else arise down the road... around here, DCFS doesn't give the benefit of the doubt to the parent discipling their kids, but by the same token (one of my best friends wife is a maternity ward nurse) they allow crack addicted babies to go home with their moms, she's reported is on 5 different occasions and DCFS did nothing...
i've said it before in different threads, 90% of the worlds problems could be solved if people would just mind their own fucin business!!!
certainly not, but that doesn't mean that they are not dealt with when they get home... fear of reprisal in public holds parents back more than it should... parents are often forced into doing nothing at that particular moment, but that doesn't mean they are bad/abusive parents either...
S
Superjag
Well-known member
My argument would be that half of those kids will not face any reprisal when the get home because the parents just don't give d*mn.
I would strongly disagree with you if you are arguing that a large number of kids today are disrespectful little sh*ts because the parents are afraid of what will happen to them if they physically discipline their kids (for example, did fear of reprisal stop the woman the original poster saw?). While that may be a factor in a few instances, I would argue that the majority of kids who are disrespectful or criminals are so because their parents don't care enough to make a difference. I don't know where you live, but take a stroll through the nearest 'hood and tell me if you think that all those little gang bangers turned out that way because their parents are afraid to hit them? Please. The majority of them turned out that way because they had parents who let them get off the right path.
DESERVED EVERY SPANK/SLAP AND THE OCCASIONAL KICK SQUARE IN THE AZZ I HAD EVER GOTTEN!
unless there is phyisacal signs of serious abuse STFU and move on this world nothing is private or sacred. stay out of it. parents have the right to dicipline their kids as they feel fit. blatent abuse like hitting with objects and stuff or leaving serious bruises or damage thats one thing but i honestly belive some of the brats you see in stores need a good beating or they will never make in life!
unless there is phyisacal signs of serious abuse STFU and move on this world nothing is private or sacred. stay out of it. parents have the right to dicipline their kids as they feel fit. blatent abuse like hitting with objects and stuff or leaving serious bruises or damage thats one thing but i honestly belive some of the brats you see in stores need a good beating or they will never make in life!
AT THE AGE OF 2???!!!! Come on. My son is turning four in a couple weeks and he doesn't do anything that deserves smaked in the face. I do threaten to beat his a ss at times but never in the face. I also let him have a time out until I regain composure if it is a really bad day. But I also know he won't act like this when he is 6. Me just being a positive roll model for him and explaining to him why or why not he needs to do something will keep him from acting up. Most of the time it is when he doesn't get to take a nap that makes him act up, and that is my fault so why would I get upset.
Anyways, I just feel that small kids should never be smaked in the face. That is what momy does to daddy when he comes home drunk with lipstick on his collar.
Anyways, I just feel that small kids should never be smaked in the face. That is what momy does to daddy when he comes home drunk with lipstick on his collar.
Alot of you are saying "You can't go hitting a 2 year old in the face"
What if this 2 year old made a comment such as........
"I sure hope Hillary wins the general in November"
or
"Why does daddy spend all his money on snowmobiles"
or
"Turn it to a country station"
or
I just joined the Sierra Club"
As soon as the beating was complete, I would call a priest to come perform the exorcism.
What if this 2 year old made a comment such as........
"I sure hope Hillary wins the general in November"
or
"Why does daddy spend all his money on snowmobiles"
or
"Turn it to a country station"
or
I just joined the Sierra Club"
As soon as the beating was complete, I would call a priest to come perform the exorcism.
I'm all for discipline. I'm all for picking my battles with my kids. I'm all for not allowing them to get away with misbehaving. I'm all for obedience. I'm all for all of that.
BUT......If it happened the way he described it.......Where do I start with some of your responses......
It sounds like that parent is already doing that. It's going to be a disfunctional kid pretty soon anyway....
In the long run?
If it is an ongoing situation, and the boy is hit like that consistantly...that boy is going to have some problems in the not so distant future. He's learning from his modeling. 2yrs is such a formative age. In 3 or 4 years, he's going to be the one at school that's already in the pricipal's office for hitting other kids.
I TOTALLY disagree with what you are saying.
As a parent, I'd say that parent needs to learn some parenting skills, some PROPER forms of discipline, and the proper way to do it. You never use physical discipline in the heat of the moment. You NEVER do it when you're mad. I don't care how hard that is, you HAVE to take a deep breath before you get into it.
He's fawkin TWO for cryin out loud.
EVERY single discipline situation must involve a 2-sided conversation about how they are supposed to act, what your expectations are and the consequenses of such actions or bad choices. No matter what we think as adults, it's absolutely worthless and unproductive to a two year old if that civilized conversation does not take place.
Anyone who beats their dog, their child or anything else has anger issues at the very least....and probably control & abuse issues.
I've got a lot more to say...but I'm not in the mood to think and type out a long post.
BUT......If it happened the way he described it.......Where do I start with some of your responses......
It sounds like that parent is already doing that. It's going to be a disfunctional kid pretty soon anyway....
In the long run?
If it is an ongoing situation, and the boy is hit like that consistantly...that boy is going to have some problems in the not so distant future. He's learning from his modeling. 2yrs is such a formative age. In 3 or 4 years, he's going to be the one at school that's already in the pricipal's office for hitting other kids.
I TOTALLY disagree with what you are saying.
As a parent, I'd say that parent needs to learn some parenting skills, some PROPER forms of discipline, and the proper way to do it. You never use physical discipline in the heat of the moment. You NEVER do it when you're mad. I don't care how hard that is, you HAVE to take a deep breath before you get into it.
He's fawkin TWO for cryin out loud.
EVERY single discipline situation must involve a 2-sided conversation about how they are supposed to act, what your expectations are and the consequenses of such actions or bad choices. No matter what we think as adults, it's absolutely worthless and unproductive to a two year old if that civilized conversation does not take place.
Anyone who beats their dog, their child or anything else has anger issues at the very least....and probably control & abuse issues.
I've got a lot more to say...but I'm not in the mood to think and type out a long post.
S
Superjag
Well-known member
I'm with Scott on this one. Can't think of too many situations where you'd be justified in slapping a two-year old across the face. I'm not saying that corporal punishment is never justified, but not when it involves slapping a two-year old across the face.
Need it be said again? He's two f*cking years old!!
Ok, that there ^^^ is some funny sh*t.
Need it be said again? He's two f*cking years old!!
Ok, that there ^^^ is some funny sh*t.
R
Rattlin_Ram
Active member
Not taking one side or the other here really, even though I do NOT think slapping a child in the face constitues ABUSE.... Poor parenting maybe.... But in no way shape or form is it abuse.... anyway.... let me know when you have that "Civilized Conversation" with a 2 year old... I'd like to know exactly how you manage that with a 2 year old...
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