Spiced, WFO, Defy's, and FLIT, you guys are all on the right path at each of your levels of fatherhood. I'm at the end of the scale with Defys, 1 is a college junior, the other is a college sophomore. It was not until the boys were gone that I realized just how many of "my" hobbies and interests had gone by the wayside in some subtle way over the years of fatherhood.
The dynamic starts as innocent as prioritizing your activities to those that are toddler friendly, and from there you spend all your time growing, bolstering, and becoming involved in all of your kids passions. It never once felt like I was loosing any of my interests, it always felt like I was adding new and better stuff because most times it was new to my kids too. There is such a joy in participating in your kids passions and the related successe/failures that you never really notice you haven't picked up your trap gun, poker cards, or shot glass in quite a while.
One day you wake up to an empty house that doesn't need mega groceries, doesn't do mass laundry, and you and your yella dog that used to be in huge demand are now all of a sudden sitting on the porch looking at each other wondering what your purpose is. For me that quiet time quickly turned into bordom that caused me to clean up some old spaces in the basement where I found a trap gun and some shells. I found a model airplane, a fly rod, and an old Harley magazine with some dog eared pages. It all started to come back to me that I actaully used to have quite a bit of fun in groups less than a dozen. I was able to go on trips without an MP3 player. I could actually be gone from home all day and not go through a drive-thru. Wow, interting stuff for sure.
As much as I have enjoyed bringing back some of my old passions (and a new one or two), I would gladly trade them all for just one more trip to the elementary play ground for a drop off or to even watch those first few wobbly steps again. You guys are completely spot on to absorb all of your fatherhood benefits that you can right now no matter what the cost/sacrifice. They will have to last you for the rest of your life and they are over way faster than you could have possibly imagined.
One piece of advice I will add here is that I felt I did a good job of taking lots of pics and video along the way. I wish I had 10x more. Get great cameras and use them a lot. This stuff is pricless when its just you and your dog on the porch. One of our Christmas traditions is to spend a family evening watching all the old videos from sports events to birthdays to outdoor stuff to the milestones like first day of school to 8th grade graduation. These tapes and pics are priceless. Get lots.
I am glad to hear and envious of all of you and your commitments to your kids. Get all you can while you can. Its a short season for sure.
Congrats dads and keep 'ol uncle EricW in mind if you ever want to share the joy, or take a break. I still have some cool toys and I do know a thing or 2 about Lego engineering 101(still got the little yellow hard hat). Thanks Flit for loaning me your son yesterday, we had a blast and learned a bunch together. What a fine young man you have there, you both have much to be proud of.
Time for me & Yella dog to take a walk. Have a good weekend all. EW
