Great thread! You have given wisdom to many lost souls...H.I. are you a Jedi or just a Shrink with a lot of spare time?
Sled OEMs analogy in "Redneck Terms"
- Thread starter H.I. McDunna
- Start date
O.K......I'll man up and admit it. I've had some pretty carnal thoughts about my son's sled.
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Gimpster
Guest
Ridden a lot of sleds in my day, some cougars and spitfires, admired some eskimos but never rode one. Held one's handlebars once. I've been taken to mach Z and prowled. Still to this day I fiddle around with a lot of sleds and take one for a ride every so often, but there is this old yamaha at home that gives me the greatest pleasure so far. I ride it as much as I can unless it starts leaking. Then I'll climb right off and ride another for a few days. Once the leak stops I climb back on the old yamaha for a while and enjoy that same old thrill I got the first time I rode it.
----- Gimpster -----
----- Gimpster -----
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DRAFTINGMAN
Member
Another analogy?
Hey H.I. give us one for the TROPHY WIFE !!!
Hey H.I. give us one for the TROPHY WIFE !!!
I told my wife she was a trophy wife once. Second place! She didn't think that was very funny.
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Bull
Well-known member
funny for sure.......but i have to disagree with some of the descriptions.......sure the "Poo" girl had that scene at the country club. but then she got sober and hit some aerobics classes......firmed up and lost those few extra pounds. VEERRY nice ride now, and she ALWAYS wants to go out....and will hang in with you till the end of the night.
the "Doo" girl looks good across the room (although not too my liking), but once you get a chance to get on her, you find all the "plastic" in her chassis feels awkward and unnatural....worst of all, she wants to go home just when things start getting fun!! so you end up wearing the "mopey" face as you look back over your shoulder at your buddies as you drag her sorry arse home!
the "Doo" girl looks good across the room (although not too my liking), but once you get a chance to get on her, you find all the "plastic" in her chassis feels awkward and unnatural....worst of all, she wants to go home just when things start getting fun!! so you end up wearing the "mopey" face as you look back over your shoulder at your buddies as you drag her sorry arse home!
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nathaniel11
Member
since we got pretty much every other sled named what would a CMX be
Thats the best thread I've read in a long time. Original, funny and very true. There's exceptions to every rule but for the majority of things you nailed it.
As for myself I must admit falling for the sexy lines of the high maintenance Doo after going thru some "issues" with my highschool sweetheart Poo. Thankfully, after a bad tabloid breakup with Doo, and the ensuing therapy sessions to straighten out my head - Poo has shown me that long term happiness is the better way to go and we are back on track. Now I appreciate the mild twists and turns of my relationship with Poo and cherish some of her quirks for I know that I have a friend for life.
As for myself I must admit falling for the sexy lines of the high maintenance Doo after going thru some "issues" with my highschool sweetheart Poo. Thankfully, after a bad tabloid breakup with Doo, and the ensuing therapy sessions to straighten out my head - Poo has shown me that long term happiness is the better way to go and we are back on track. Now I appreciate the mild twists and turns of my relationship with Poo and cherish some of her quirks for I know that I have a friend for life.
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mtnrider406
Member
lmfao
You have started a great post that everyone can relate to with your witty humor!
Most of the analogy's are close but Polaris didn't just have a bad showing at the country club. Closer would be to name her Brittney Spears, She went from the Ride that everybody wanted to the fat crazy lady that you just couldn't keep the rumors of her demise from becoming front page news. She became so overweight and obnoxious that even with your memories of how great she was in the past, you had to come to your senses and leave her before she ruined you. Now she has cleaned herself up, lost the weight, and put some new red lipstick on. She is hanging out with the group again and begging for you to come back and give her another chance......Trying to get you away from the Supermodel you are keeping company with. It is O so tempting because the supermodel has started to show signs of instability with her inner workings, but you are torn, she still has the most attractive frame and great jugs, if you could just get her to the right surgeon you wouldn't have to leave her and go back to Brittney.....ohh what to do???
I noticed that CATS have gas filler holes that are really BIG... hmmmm
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CoyoteGirl
Well-known member
Snowbyrd... nicely done.
Ok, my shot at turning this around. I'm no McDunna............
Yamaha - Older wiser, sugar daddy that has the potential to take you to places you've never been before. Stable, supportive and yet will allow you to change him to be more fun for you.
Ski Doo - Possibly the metro sexual one of the group. Well manicured trim. Watches it's weight. Generally seen only with "it's" kind. Can be tempermental if things aren't done his way.
Polaris - It's that skinny white boy that can dance his butt off, but only to certain songs and you don't know for how long. Has a certain confidence that even if you go ride something else he thinks you'll more than likely want to come back to him.
Arctic Cat - the quiet silent big brother type. This one just sits back and takes all the other's left overs once they've been burned/ hurt. This one doesn't care where he's getting it, as long as he's getting some.
Ok, my shot at turning this around. I'm no McDunna............
Yamaha - Older wiser, sugar daddy that has the potential to take you to places you've never been before. Stable, supportive and yet will allow you to change him to be more fun for you.
Ski Doo - Possibly the metro sexual one of the group. Well manicured trim. Watches it's weight. Generally seen only with "it's" kind. Can be tempermental if things aren't done his way.
Polaris - It's that skinny white boy that can dance his butt off, but only to certain songs and you don't know for how long. Has a certain confidence that even if you go ride something else he thinks you'll more than likely want to come back to him.
Arctic Cat - the quiet silent big brother type. This one just sits back and takes all the other's left overs once they've been burned/ hurt. This one doesn't care where he's getting it, as long as he's getting some.
x2
the mistress, or the high class call girl, escort girl
either way it may be the best you've ever had its still going to cost you alot of dough to go,
Everyone has come up with great stuff.
Here's another one,
Yamaha, The big boned girl that has a real pretty face, expensive well tailored clothes, large stable feet, and a great personality. She is very hard to straddle, has short legs that get stuck a lot, and gets winded easily. The proven way to unleash this freak, is to make her lighter on her feet, take her on an extended shopping spree for accessories, and get her to gulp down more.......um.....
Air!
Here's another one,
Yamaha, The big boned girl that has a real pretty face, expensive well tailored clothes, large stable feet, and a great personality. She is very hard to straddle, has short legs that get stuck a lot, and gets winded easily. The proven way to unleash this freak, is to make her lighter on her feet, take her on an extended shopping spree for accessories, and get her to gulp down more.......um.....
Air!
Hmmmm.......heads and pipe for the sled or a boob job for the wife. Either way, they aren't really for me. They're just to give the recipient more confidence when out in public. I personally abhor fast sleds and great tits, but you know me....always the giver.
I took the Yamaha girlfriend in the shop for a little slap and tickle and surgery. She cleaned up real nice and even lost a few pounds (wish I could say the same for myself, LOL) She came out with longer legs and obviously used the hairdryer. Best of all.....the wife doesn't mind when I ride her
Oh My! Sleds and Gals
I have it all figured out fellers....... I ride with "Betty bob" on a pink hooptie.........
I have it all figured out fellers....... I ride with "Betty bob" on a pink hooptie.........
Here's my shot.
Yamaha-Refinement, reliability and classic timeless beauty. Loyalty and undying devotion all wrapped up in one package. You can't go wrong.
Arctic Cat -She's a whore and will let anybody ride her and generally gives them what they want- a good hard fast ride. She prefers that you don't call her in the morning because now your buddy is riding her because you said that you didn't care. But now your feelings are hurt.
Skidoo- She's your sister's totally hot friend who is dating the captain of the football team. She looks great on the dance floor and can dance her a$$ off and you want to ride her hard- real hard. Anytime you personally run into her, she is insanely unstable or you can hear her crying in the bathroom, or she just wants you to give her a tow beause she broke down along way from home.
Polaris- She's the "go to gal" on Saturday night when you don't have the cash to take out the football captains ride who is crying in the bathroom because she suspects the captain is out riding an Arctic Cat. She's alot of fun and is cute, but you know what you really want.
I am now bracing for the kidney punches, Be kind.
Yamaha-Refinement, reliability and classic timeless beauty. Loyalty and undying devotion all wrapped up in one package. You can't go wrong.
Arctic Cat -She's a whore and will let anybody ride her and generally gives them what they want- a good hard fast ride. She prefers that you don't call her in the morning because now your buddy is riding her because you said that you didn't care. But now your feelings are hurt.
Skidoo- She's your sister's totally hot friend who is dating the captain of the football team. She looks great on the dance floor and can dance her a$$ off and you want to ride her hard- real hard. Anytime you personally run into her, she is insanely unstable or you can hear her crying in the bathroom, or she just wants you to give her a tow beause she broke down along way from home.
Polaris- She's the "go to gal" on Saturday night when you don't have the cash to take out the football captains ride who is crying in the bathroom because she suspects the captain is out riding an Arctic Cat. She's alot of fun and is cute, but you know what you really want.
I am now bracing for the kidney punches, Be kind.
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