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I want a divorce

duke1n said:
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations,
but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of
America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end
it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking
a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides
can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both
sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take
our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for
finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys,
hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault,
we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but
we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take
every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty
your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our
name and our flag.

Agreed?
Click to expand...

How bout another civil war, and this time the Rebels win.
 
Sounds Good to Me! LOL

Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, and 90% of the high tech industry, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you have higher morals then we lefties. Let's just see how that works for ya'll.Peace out,Blue States
 
KingT said:
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, and 90% of the high tech industry, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you have higher morals then we lefties. Let's just see how that works for ya'll.Peace out,Blue States
Click to expand...

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah:beer;:beer;:beer;:beer;:D:p
 
Maybe war is the answer I mean what are you lefties going to do, chuck pinecones and granola bars at us lmao. Your assertion that we are a liberal nation is uh well... quite incorrect. The cycle will shift as it already has begin to do and in 3 years we'll be listening to the left crying and threatening to leave the country. Hopefully this time you'll follow through with it.
 
KingT said:
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, and 90% of the high tech industry, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you have higher morals then we lefties. Let's just see how that works for ya'll.Peace out,Blue States
Click to expand...

Welcome to snowest. Now lets try to keep our first 5 posts down to maybe ten words. Thank you, and have a great day!
 
Last edited:
KingT said:
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, and 90% of the high tech industry, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you have higher morals then we lefties. Let's just see how that works for ya'll.Peace out,Blue States
Click to expand...

Typical libby, gettin too excited fer the punctuation and paragraph lessons we conservatives paid for! ! important omission is how ya gonna support ur lil country when none of ya pay taxes? Good luck with that!
 
KingT said:
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, and 90% of the high tech industry, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you have higher morals then we lefties. Let's just see how that works for ya'll.Peace out,Blue States
Click to expand...

Er excuse me there sunshine but "taking a state" aint gonna be so easy. If you look at the people's republic of Wershinton, Oregon, and Mexifornia you'll have to come to some very uneasy terms with the hard working folks that grow your food, produce your energy,make your paper products, the dumb rednecks that control all that fresh water. ect. You see, they live in very RED counties and more than likely they'll tell you to stick your liberal dogma right up your gay marrige amendment.

These states are very blue in small areas (urban) and the rest of the state (most of) where people actually have to work hard for a living are VERY RED. What are you gonna do Stalinize them?

You can have Microsoft and Intel. You'll find that they are shipping their work to other countries...Microsoft just recently shipped 5000 off to India.

Can you imagine what new holidays libby-land will come up with? Hell they'll need the first few months of the year to clear all the new "celebrations".

P.S. see ya in hell johny tree-hugger.
 
Last edited:
framus said:
Er excuse me there sunshine but "taking a state" aint gonna be so easy. If you look at the people's republic of Wershinton, Oregon, and Mexifornia you'll have to come to some very uneasy terms with the hard working folks that grow your food, produce your energy,make your paper products, the dumb rednecks that control all that fresh water. ect. You see, they live in very RED counties and more than likely they'll tell you to stick your liberal dogma right up your gay marrige amendment.

These states are very blue in small areas (urban) and the rest of the state (most of) where people actually have to work hard for a living are VERY RED. What are you gonna do Stalinize them?

You can have Microsoft and Intel. You'll find that they are shipping their work to other countries...Microsoft just recently shipped 5000 off to India.

Can you imagine what new holidays libby-land will come up with? Hell they'll need the first few months of the year to clear all the new "celebrations".

P.S. see ya in hell johny tree-hugger.
Click to expand...

people in those cities design the equipment and technology that all the real "hardworking" people need....
 
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