Patient Idiot (PI): I'm sick I need a ventilator.
Hospital Staff (HS): We are very tight on space, but we will try out best. Vax card, please.
PI: I don't have one.
HS: Sorry but with Covid and Delta crisis, along with responsible patients, we don't have room, and don't even have the ability to treat those with chronic STPDS.
PI: I don't have STDs. I am careful, and anyway, that's not why I need a ventilator.
HS: Not STD...STPDS-16: Stupids virus. Been around since an outbreak of people wearing red MAGA caps--symptoms include racism, hate, lies, and ironic vitriol.
PI: Well, I don't care. I need a ventilator and I'm not leaving until you treat me now.
HS: I know. Too bad. We have a triage process:
1. Previously vax'd breakthrough Covid patients .
2. Other patients requiring immediate life-saving treatment.
3. Other seriously injured, but not immediately life-threatening conditions.
4. Minor injuries or conditons requiring medical attention, e.g., broken bone, embedded, inflamed tick bite.
5. Persistent issues: infected hang nail, chronic toe fungus.
6. Other stuff.
7. Anti-vaxers/deniers. Related conditions include, but are not limited to: STPDS-16 (dangerous but untreatable), denial, entitlement, hyper-belief that white is 'the best' color.
PI: So you're saying that you won't see me?
HS: No-did I mention reduced comprehension of basic concepts and partial deafness are also STPDS-16 symptoms?. That's not what I said. You are just the lowest priority.
Please wait over there with your fellow red-capped truckers, next to Mr. Gaetz, Ms. Taylor Greene, and the orange Cheeto-complexioned gentleman wearing the coonskin cap.
We'll be with you momentarily, as in likely, never.
In the meantime, please take this brochure from Trump funeral directors and crematorium. Also, here's a DIXIE cup (get it?) for the complimentary bleach dispensers, labeled "MAGA-Whites Only".
Hospital Staff (HS): We are very tight on space, but we will try out best. Vax card, please.
PI: I don't have one.
HS: Sorry but with Covid and Delta crisis, along with responsible patients, we don't have room, and don't even have the ability to treat those with chronic STPDS.
PI: I don't have STDs. I am careful, and anyway, that's not why I need a ventilator.
HS: Not STD...STPDS-16: Stupids virus. Been around since an outbreak of people wearing red MAGA caps--symptoms include racism, hate, lies, and ironic vitriol.
PI: Well, I don't care. I need a ventilator and I'm not leaving until you treat me now.
HS: I know. Too bad. We have a triage process:
1. Previously vax'd breakthrough Covid patients .
2. Other patients requiring immediate life-saving treatment.
3. Other seriously injured, but not immediately life-threatening conditions.
4. Minor injuries or conditons requiring medical attention, e.g., broken bone, embedded, inflamed tick bite.
5. Persistent issues: infected hang nail, chronic toe fungus.
6. Other stuff.
7. Anti-vaxers/deniers. Related conditions include, but are not limited to: STPDS-16 (dangerous but untreatable), denial, entitlement, hyper-belief that white is 'the best' color.
PI: So you're saying that you won't see me?
HS: No-did I mention reduced comprehension of basic concepts and partial deafness are also STPDS-16 symptoms?. That's not what I said. You are just the lowest priority.
Please wait over there with your fellow red-capped truckers, next to Mr. Gaetz, Ms. Taylor Greene, and the orange Cheeto-complexioned gentleman wearing the coonskin cap.
We'll be with you momentarily, as in likely, never.
In the meantime, please take this brochure from Trump funeral directors and crematorium. Also, here's a DIXIE cup (get it?) for the complimentary bleach dispensers, labeled "MAGA-Whites Only".
