D
doorock
Member
Rules of Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nevada,
Minnesota, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild West...
are as follows :
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.'
I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter
how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your
Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle....
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-80 & I-90 go east and west, I-25 & I-15 goes north
and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 wks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during
the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand.... You
better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner
bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season....
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to
the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all
women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu....
you can order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad, &
pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:
meat, vegetables and bread. We use three spices:
salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah, we don't
care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat.... IT AIN'T CHILI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown,
wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into
my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot,
drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important
here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-
thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to
hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers!
( Refer back to #1 )
Minnesota, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild West...
are as follows :
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.'
I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter
how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your
Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle....
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-80 & I-90 go east and west, I-25 & I-15 goes north
and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 wks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during
the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand.... You
better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner
bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season....
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to
the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all
women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu....
you can order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad, &
pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:
meat, vegetables and bread. We use three spices:
salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah, we don't
care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat.... IT AIN'T CHILI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown,
wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into
my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot,
drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important
here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-
thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to
hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers!
( Refer back to #1 )
