The Roast Thread!!!
- Thread starter smwizzz
- Start date
Sledders!!!
A typical snowmobiler is:
• A person who is too old for a sled but young enough to remember the fun it used to be.
• A person who prays for snow, but grumbles when he is cleaning the walk.
• A person who waits for cold weather so she can dress up to stay warm.
• A person will will completely overhaul a snowmobile in the middle of nowhere and call AAA when the car won’t start in the heated garage.
• A person who rides the lumps and bumps of a worked field with enjoyment and complains about the holes in the street.
• A person who syays they bought the machine for the kids, but complains that they can’t find a baybsitter so they can go out and ride.
• A person who can’t get old “Bessie” in the garage at night because there isn’t room unless he slides the snowmobile out.
• A person who will drive a block to the grocery store in a warm car for steak and ride a snowmobile 10 miles for a burned weiner.
• A person who will get caught on the interstate without a spare tire but will have enough spare parts in the snowmobile to build another one.
• A person who is glad to get the 4th of July over with because it’s only four months until they can ride.
A typical snowmobiler is:
• A person who is too old for a sled but young enough to remember the fun it used to be.
• A person who prays for snow, but grumbles when he is cleaning the walk.
• A person who waits for cold weather so she can dress up to stay warm.
• A person will will completely overhaul a snowmobile in the middle of nowhere and call AAA when the car won’t start in the heated garage.
• A person who rides the lumps and bumps of a worked field with enjoyment and complains about the holes in the street.
• A person who syays they bought the machine for the kids, but complains that they can’t find a baybsitter so they can go out and ride.
• A person who can’t get old “Bessie” in the garage at night because there isn’t room unless he slides the snowmobile out.
• A person who will drive a block to the grocery store in a warm car for steak and ride a snowmobile 10 miles for a burned weiner.
• A person who will get caught on the interstate without a spare tire but will have enough spare parts in the snowmobile to build another one.
• A person who is glad to get the 4th of July over with because it’s only four months until they can ride.
Sledders!!!
By Jim Bell, Dryden
There’s a new kind if creature emerging on earth,
I’ll describe him to you for whatever it’s worth;
He comes out of hiding in winter I’m told,
He rejoices in weather that’s terribly cold.
He leaves the warm fireside, his wife and his kids,
Climbs onto a motor, a belt and two skids.
The machine comes to life, he is ready to go,
But he can’t, cause as yet there is no sign of snow.
For the past 18 days he’s been wearing a suit,
That is covered in zippers from parka to boot,
And mittens, and helmet, and mask on his head,
“My God” says his wife “must you wear that to bed?”
Then it finally happens, the ground has turned white,
He’s on his machine and he roars out of sight;
On the flat he’ll crouch down, on a corner he’ll lean,
And they tell me his blood is now pure gasoline.
Over hill, over river, through marsh, and round trees,
Over rockpile and sandspit, yet down on his knees,
He looks like he’s praying as onward he flies,
Is it monster or man? All we see is his eyes.
He’ll go charging ahead when it’s 20 below
Screaming into a blizzard of onrushing snow,
By what demon possessed is this new breed of man,
Who finds joy in a snowstorm like no human can?
But what happens in summer when snows are not there?
Is he out on the porch in an old rocking chair?
No; he’s inside the house for the whole world to see,
Sitting there on his snowmobile, watching T.V.
By Jim Bell, Dryden
There’s a new kind if creature emerging on earth,
I’ll describe him to you for whatever it’s worth;
He comes out of hiding in winter I’m told,
He rejoices in weather that’s terribly cold.
He leaves the warm fireside, his wife and his kids,
Climbs onto a motor, a belt and two skids.
The machine comes to life, he is ready to go,
But he can’t, cause as yet there is no sign of snow.
For the past 18 days he’s been wearing a suit,
That is covered in zippers from parka to boot,
And mittens, and helmet, and mask on his head,
“My God” says his wife “must you wear that to bed?”
Then it finally happens, the ground has turned white,
He’s on his machine and he roars out of sight;
On the flat he’ll crouch down, on a corner he’ll lean,
And they tell me his blood is now pure gasoline.
Over hill, over river, through marsh, and round trees,
Over rockpile and sandspit, yet down on his knees,
He looks like he’s praying as onward he flies,
Is it monster or man? All we see is his eyes.
He’ll go charging ahead when it’s 20 below
Screaming into a blizzard of onrushing snow,
By what demon possessed is this new breed of man,
Who finds joy in a snowstorm like no human can?
But what happens in summer when snows are not there?
Is he out on the porch in an old rocking chair?
No; he’s inside the house for the whole world to see,
Sitting there on his snowmobile, watching T.V.
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