respect
Ruffy, I read your OP, and many of the replies,- but not all.
It is my opinion, (and thus I live my life this way) that every person I meet, (or don't meet for that matter) is given a certain amount of respect. That is the respect I give to a human being, for being a creation of God. (again, my beliefs, not trying to push them on others)
However, it is up to them to behave in a manner in which my level of respect increases. Sometimes, as I learn more about them, things they have done in the past contribute to this. They can also loose respect. I openly give a pretty high amount at first. I'm a grown adult (although sometimes I have a hard time seeing myself in that light), who contributes to this society in the form of taxes, and personal service. Every day I go to work, I put my health, safety and life on the line for others. And yet, when I meet new folks, most of the time, it's Mister/ Missus, or Sir/Ma'am, until told otherwise.
This was instilled in me from my youth. With regards to giving others respect, I think the bulk of the responsibility lies within the degradation of family values. And, I'm not referring to a certain theological belief either. Others have written about how if they behaved poorly as a child, they got a 'whuppun. They learned real quick to behave properly.
But, times have changed. No doubt, some of you have seen an e-mail going around containing an excerpt from a certain women's magazine dated in the 50's advising housewives how to treat their husband when he arrives home from work. Today, it's hard to make ends meet without double incomes. This means children are left without parental input for much of the day, and by the time mom and dad get home from their career, they are tired and don't want to take the time to teach little David or Stephanie (by example as well) how to be a good human being. Even those that are fortunate enough to have one stay-home parent, often are concerned with teaching their child how to be a good
child, not how to prepare them to be a good
adult. There are significant differences between the two. So, we end up with a couple generations of people that might know how to be a good kid, but no idea how to act like an adult, much less, how to be a good parent, when they have kids themselves.
And this includes respect for one's self. Also known as personal responsibility. None of us are perfect. I make many mistakes, likely more than my share.
But, I try hard to take ownership of them, apologize when appropriate, and learn from them. I don't blame my mommy and daddy for my poor choices as an adult. And I certainly don't want the government coming into my life and telling me how I have to behave. Laws tell me what behavior is acceptable, and what consequences will be if I don't behave properly. They don't tell me how to behave. There is a significant difference.
When I see well-behaved adults, that are respected by others, and give others respect, undoubtedly, it can be traced back to a person of influence (usually parents) in their youth, that demonstrated proper behavior, and in turn then held them to a high standard of behavior.
Have high expectations for your kids. Show them how to live up to it, and then let them do so. There are folks that
demand respect. They pound their fist, flaunt their rank, and demand you show them respect. Then, there are folks that behave in a manner that cause you to want to emulate them, and you want to show them how much you admire them. They
command it by their examples and action. My dad was the former, my mom the latter. My dad's relationship history (friends, business colleagues, and personal) is spotty at best. My mom's history is exemplary. I'm not trying to put down my dad (I love him dearly) or brag about my mom (although I love to do that), but it's been a very clear example of where each path of behavior leads.
PE
