Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady,
and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?'
His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me Just understand that there will
be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether
you're here or not.'
************************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As
Ever'!'
'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff
At Last'!'
*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and
says, 'And you are no good in bed either,' and storms
out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides
to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
says, 'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'
'In bed this early, doing what?'
'Getting a second opinion!'
*****************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts
calling his wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man
decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find
out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home
Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of
Four.'
*****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at
home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me
at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find
it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't
wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady,
and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?'
His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me Just understand that there will
be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether
you're here or not.'
************************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As
Ever'!'
'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff
At Last'!'
*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and
says, 'And you are no good in bed either,' and storms
out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides
to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
says, 'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'
'In bed this early, doing what?'
'Getting a second opinion!'
*****************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts
calling his wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man
decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find
out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home
Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of
Four.'
*****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at
home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me
at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find
it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't
wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
