Kicking a guy when he is down...3rd DWI

[Sambo11]

Ok how bout this. Give him a truck load of beer or whatever so he and the X can drink themselves or whatever to oblivion. Then raise his kids as you would/did your own so they don't become 3rd generation losers. You obviously already care more about them than he does or you wouldn't even bother with this guy. You would just send him on down the road.

I don't know him and obviously never will so in all actuality I don't much care about him but his kids are the real victims in all of this. Even though this is his 3rd dwi and whatever else he has done he still has some options. Those kids at that age have few if any options. I know this happens alot so it shouldn't bother me but I really hate seeing children in these types of cituations.

Props and good rep to you Himark. "You're a man Charlie Brown"

 

[ouch]

hmm you run our govt? Sound kinda the same, ppl just keep screwing up and they keep bailing them out. Time for this guy to grow up and understand dont drive after he drinks, I dont know what part of that confuses him but sit down and ask him that, doing that will help more then letting him have his job back. theres enough people out looking for work to have to put up with his sorry drunk as....

 

[POLZIN]

Give him the boot! His record speaks for itself ! He is a liability to you and your business.Sounds like you are to nice already

 

[AkMike]

Next thing to consider,, WHAT IF the next time he's behind the wheel he runs over one of the neighbor kids or yours...
Everyone's lucky he hasn't done it already..

 

[rynokron]

Show him the door! He'll never learn if there are no consequences for his actions. Simple as that. If he gets his act together you can hire him back later. He might even thank you for helping him help himself.

 

[Ex-Member]

How'd he do when he was on alcohol monitoring? Did he start drinking again because the bracelet came off?

That's the business I'm in, I can get you all the data you want about these bracelets and the recidivism during their use. You could probably talk to the PO and get weekly updates as well, if you wanted to help him out that way; give him support or remind him of how close he is to losing his job.

I know there's more than one client who is wearing the bracelet beyond what the courts required; they wear it because it keeps them sober, employed, with their kids/family, and out of jail.

If it were me... I'd sit down one-on-one with him and tell him how you feel. If the job is important to him, one would hope he'd do what he could to keep it. Make it perfectly clear that if it happens again he's gone, but also that you're willing to help him make the right choices with his life.

 

[bobback]

You yourself sound like a good guy, and are letting your emotions get involved.

Remember, it's nothing personal, just a business decision.

 

[crix]

You yourself sound like a good guy, and are letting your emotions get involved.

Remember, it's nothing personal, just a business decision.

My exact thoughts also....Maybe down the road in a few years if he gets himself straightened out and you see a change for the better offer him a job again. That is if you stay in touch of course.

 

[MPS]

Well I hate to do it but my guy leaves me no choice. A employee of mine that I have mentored since he started and made a excellent body man out of him has broken the last straw. Some of you maybe remember a year or so back the story bout how he crapped on me and quit with no notice.. I took him back a week later and gave him another chance. Well he got a DWI not long after that and i was without him for 30 days and continued to put up with alchol class leaving early, probation meetings etc. etc. I have thought this was all behind him as he got his license back 40 days ago. He just got his ankle braclet removed less than 3 months ago!
I come into a full work load today and find he is not here, called his phone several times and nothing. Finally I called jail today and my answer was clear. He has got his 3rd DWI and is at his new residence for who knows how long. I hate to kick a guy when down but I may have NO choice here. question I have for you guys is.

IF, he puts forth a valid effort to pay his bail and pay his fines to maintain his freedom and gets work release should I keep him? Keep in mind he would have to sell his truck and do whatever is neccessary to stay out of jail. He may take the lazy man way and sit it out to avoid paying those costs....Even if he does make the efforts I will be looking at a minimum I am sure of some jail time and all the headaches to go with the after math.

Or, do I just let him go when I know he needs his job the most?

***forgot to mention his mom called me and asked if I could give him to the end of this week before making a decision***

I have dealt with these individuals my entire adult life. You are not helping him by giving him chance after chance....you are enabling him. I read somewhere that someone said he won't change, if he does....until he hits rock bottom...in 99% of the case that is true. Believe it or not people, I am in favor of giving people chances. I am not as cynical as some may think. But, does this guy deserve a chance from you and continued trust from you? NO, move on. If he sobers up and proves himself working somewhere else...then hire him back in a year or as long as it takes for him to wake up.

 

[Snorider]

it's a tough one to call, he hasn't learned anything from the law, you have been very flexible while he was getting straightened out for a little bit. then he went and threw it all away willingly.

I feel bad for the dude, but it really comes down to you and your shop. Is it going to cost too much in performance and headaches to help him get straightened out for good, and is he willing too?

I lost my dream job that i got right out of college due to 3 speeding tickets(no negs or wreckless either) that were going to come off my record in a year and 3 months, I had already learned my lesson from my heavy right foot, but that really sank it in, I still wish i had that job and that I could've been given a chance to prove myself but i have had so many great things come from it too.

Its hard to tell, but it seems that he needs to bottom out and lose more to learn his lesson. it sucks and i know you dont want it to happen since the kids are innocent to what is happening around them.

I'M not saying kick him to the curb, that's up to you. But it sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him and if he crosses or breaks an agreement you "could" make, he is out of the shop by end of day.

Good luck with this.

 

[pernikm]

Trust me on this. You have a codependent relationship. He needs you to keep bailing him out and you need a body man. This will not change unless you change. You are enabling his behavior. I have gone through so much alchol counseling trying to save my ex-wife's life you can't imagine. Here are the fundamental truths of alcoholism. My counselors say they have NEVER seen an exception.

1. Only 10% of alcholics change
2. For an alcoholic to change he has to lose something very very valuable and hit their personal "rock bottom"
3. Of the remaining 90% they will lose in some order.

a. Their Job
b. Their marriage
c. Their children

4. If this is not enough to force them into the successful 10% they will

a. die
b. go insane
c. get incarcerated.

5. No exceptions. If they do not have a mechanism to take them to the bottom they will not change.

6. The successful 10% will relaps on the "rule of 5's". On rehabilitation they will relaps on the 5th week, or the 5th month, the 5th yr and every 5 yrs after that.

I suggest you bail.

Karl

 

[rockdog2112]

It's sad but sometimes you just have to cut them loose before they drag you down with them. Tough decision. Good luck.

 

[sledchick]

Tough decision..thing is the guy doesn't have his priorities straight, the drinking takes over anything. I have a hard time respecting people like that, when they have children to take care of..and other responsibilities that go with it. As others have said bailing the guy out doesn't solve the problem, just makes it worse. He'll figure out fast..hopefully, what he needs to do in order to survive. Sad deal for those kids... Good luck!

 

[dragon12]

You have already given him the only thing you need to and that is an opportunity. From there it is up to him to make something out of it. It stinks that he has kids and you are such a nice guy but your family needs to come first.

If you decide to keep him around, you better be ready for the whole shop attitude to change. They will see that one guy gets special treatment and they will expect it also. You will lose all credibility and the only way to gain it back will be replacing the whole shop. We had it happen to us and we have had to completely replace all our workers in order to get our authority back. It all started with one guy skipping lunch to go home 30 minutes early and ended with everyone taking lunch and leaving 1 hour early at the companies expense. No matter how hard we tried or how loud we yelled, we couldn't stop it until we replaced all of them. We were just trying to be nice guys at first and they took advantage of it.

 

[bcboy]

How long have you had this person working for you? Did you know him before you hired him? Were you trying to help him and gave him a job and mentored him? He had one DUI when you hired him?
Well what to do? What a mess and how would he fix it. Yes how would he fix it. Put him in your shoes. Ask him what he would do with you if he was the owner. And why he made the decision to do what he did to you.
Does he see the road he is going down? Sound like the same road that his father has taken and he was discussed with? You should make him write this all down on paper so he can see it.....
Than your heart of gold will give you the answer....
Don't let it rip a part your own family tho....

 

[Supplicate]

how is it kicking him when he's down? He brought it on himself, cut him loose to do as he will...

 

[knee deep in it]

it is obvious that he is a practicing alcoholic. There is nothing you can do for him that would not be enabling him. He needs to suffer enough consequences that he decides to change his life.

DO NOT TAKE AWAY HIS CONSEQUENCES.

That could kill him.

 

[concreteman]

Maybe your friend needs a new mentor and spiritual adviser.

 

[AKSNOWRIDER]

Well I hate to do it but my guy leaves me no choice. A employee of mine that I have mentored since he started and made a excellent body man out of him has broken the last straw. Some of you maybe remember a year or so back the story bout how he crapped on me and quit with no notice.. I took him back a week later and gave him another chance. Well he got a DWI not long after that and i was without him for 30 days and continued to put up with alchol class leaving early, probation meetings etc. etc. I have thought this was all behind him as he got his license back 40 days ago. He just got his ankle braclet removed less than 3 months ago!
I come into a full work load today and find he is not here, called his phone several times and nothing. Finally I called jail today and my answer was clear. He has got his 3rd DWI and is at his new residence for who knows how long. I hate to kick a guy when down but I may have NO choice here. question I have for you guys is.

IF, he puts forth a valid effort to pay his bail and pay his fines to maintain his freedom and gets work release should I keep him? Keep in mind he would have to sell his truck and do whatever is neccessary to stay out of jail. He may take the lazy man way and sit it out to avoid paying those costs....Even if he does make the efforts I will be looking at a minimum I am sure of some jail time and all the headaches to go with the after math.

Or, do I just let him go when I know he needs his job the most?

***forgot to mention his mom called me and asked if I could give him to the end of this week before making a decision***

nope..nothing you can do cause it is up to him..this isnt a drinking and driving problem..this is a kid with an addiction(and I would bet its not his only addiction)..my boss works about 30 guys(besides us full time year round guys) all summer 60-90 hrs a week.. he has several guys who have no license from dui's..and the guys keep right on drinking...driving on suspended license..you name it..they are damn sorry and embarressed at first but even while apologizing like crazy they go home after work and pound them down..walk away from this kid before he does something stupid like drink in the bathroom at work then going out and killing someone in a customers car...leaving you responsible.....tell him..go get clean and dry for at least a year...and then if ya hire him back make random testing required...

 

[H2SNOW]

a wack of great responses ........but heaven forbid he climbs behind the wheel and rubs mys wife and kids out ....I know that "just dick" won't quite understand as he thinks that I am the same guy in the story ...but hey life goes on and some guys are just dicks ..........

sorry "Just a Deuche" but you will never be forgotten....for what you said when I got banned and thats the way it goes