Kicking a guy when he is down...3rd DWI

[Himark]

Well I hate to do it but my guy leaves me no choice. A employee of mine that I have mentored since he started and made a excellent body man out of him has broken the last straw. Some of you maybe remember a year or so back the story bout how he crapped on me and quit with no notice.. I took him back a week later and gave him another chance. Well he got a DWI not long after that and i was without him for 30 days and continued to put up with alchol class leaving early, probation meetings etc. etc. I have thought this was all behind him as he got his license back 40 days ago. He just got his ankle braclet removed less than 3 months ago!
I come into a full work load today and find he is not here, called his phone several times and nothing. Finally I called jail today and my answer was clear. He has got his 3rd DWI and is at his new residence for who knows how long. I hate to kick a guy when down but I may have NO choice here. question I have for you guys is.

IF, he puts forth a valid effort to pay his bail and pay his fines to maintain his freedom and gets work release should I keep him? Keep in mind he would have to sell his truck and do whatever is neccessary to stay out of jail. He may take the lazy man way and sit it out to avoid paying those costs....Even if he does make the efforts I will be looking at a minimum I am sure of some jail time and all the headaches to go with the after math.

Or, do I just let him go when I know he needs his job the most?

***forgot to mention his mom called me and asked if I could give him to the end of this week before making a decision***

 

[Nate]

What are you teaching him if you keep bringin him back man? Life doesnt just hand out 2nd and 3rd chances. The way I look at it, if someone is dumb enough to screw up a good thing the first time, why give them a second chance? And not soon after, why a third?!? Doesnt make sense, your a way better person than me Although good help is hard to find.

 

[Sambo11]

Does he have a family as in kids that depend on him, even though he sounds completely unreliable? If he has kids that live with him that would tug at my heart strings. Would probably seriously consider taking him out behind the shop and beat the chit out of him every time he even thought about drinking and help get him in the best rehab you can find and if he didn't want to go along with that program cut him free and send him packing.

If he is a single guy no doubt I would cut him loose! If you really like the guy after you give him his walking papers and ***** him out for being a complete idiot tell him to come see you in 5yrs and if he has got his chit together you may consider him again.

 

[redlineguy]

Some people never learn unless you stop bailing there azzes out. I say get rid of him. Hard line maybe but at some point ya need to draw a line.





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[justadude]

He has an acohol problem!! He is probably a great guy when he's sober and makes really bad decisions when drinking.

Help him if he is willing to quit drinking!! Rehab and no drinking ever again!
He says no, then you know he has a problem beyond your help!

 

[triple]

Punt the guy. THere is another guy out there who needs the work and will show up every day. This guy has had his chances. He's "down" because he goes there of his own free will. Did you ever have a chat with him during the prior issues concerning ramifications of his behaviour? I would assume that you must have talked to him about the problem with him losing his license and going to jail when there is work to do.

 

[Himark]

Does he have a family as in kids that depend on him, even though he sounds completely unreliable? If he has kids that live with him that would tug at my heart strings. Would probably seriously consider taking him out behind the shop and beat the chit out of him every time he even thought about drinking and help get him in the best rehab you can find and if he didn't want to go along with that program cut him free and send him packing.

If he is a single guy no doubt I would cut him loose! If you really like the guy after you give him his walking papers and ***** him out for being a complete idiot tell him to come see you in 5yrs and if he has got his chit together you may consider him again.

Background.

His x-wife is a LOSER and he pays her child support but has kids 100% of time. He is usually broke paying for the expenses that go along with his kids like football, wrestling, dance etc. since his loser X wont contribute anything. Boy is 9 and girl is 6.

 

[spring snow hero]

we have one of those in my companies admin/family......he will never get it, he acts sorry and straightens out for a bit, but if it was my show I would trip him.

in business you are growing or dying, how is he helping you grow? he is selfish and needs help.....he obviously does not appreciate your help......here is your two checks.

 

[justadude]

He doesn't sound very smart!! He should have legal custody and not be paying her anything.
Spending money on booze when you broke is something an Alcoholic does!! He needs help!

Background.

His x-wife is a LOSER and he pays her child support but has kids 100% of time. He is usually broke paying for the expenses that go along with his kids like football, wrestling, dance etc. since his loser X wont contribute anything. Boy is 9 and girl is 6.

 

[skibreeze]

If you can't depend on him to do his job, he has to go.

 

[theultrarider]

I hate to say it, but he will not turn his life around quit drinking til he hits bottom. Bottom is different for everyone. What will shake you and I, will be just another reason for a drink for the next guy. Everyones's bottom is different. I applaude you for trying to help this guy. I think the best way you can help him now is to let him go. Hard to do. Hopefully that will be the straw that getss him to turn his life around. You are a great guy for caring and trying to help. Now is time for a little tough love. Good luck getting a quality replacement for him. If this is the straw that puts him over the top and into rehab, you will most likely get a big thank-you somewhere down the road.

 

[mn2mtns]

If he truly wants to quit drinking and do rehab and would commit to continue to follow that up by going to weekly AA meetings I would try again. If he goes to meetings after treatment he has a good chance of staying sober. There are no guarantees in life but you need to do what feels right in your heart. You know him better than anyone on this website. I know lots of people with more DUI's than that, that finally got it figured out and now have many years of sobriety. In the end you need to do what is best for you, but you also have the chance to make a difference in a life.

 

[xrated]

Well how good is he? If he's the best, get that guy some help.

If he's Ok and just soso fun to work with, boot him but maybe hold it for him

It's your call, if it was me and the guy was GOOD and willing to work at rehab, I'd help him out.

also does he just put in his 40 or does he go above and beyond working extra, maybe spending the extra 5 minutes on a 10 minute job that is the difference between average and superb.

 

[Zachcreek]

Help him out with conditions. (rehab, treatment) Conditions not met, Gone. It will be his decision. To bad about the loser wife. Alcohol and drugs can take down the best people. Sad to see.

 

[Sambo11]

Himark; it all comes down to what YOU want to do. Regardless of what us experts (lol) think you should do you're the only one that knows his and your situation. You're the only one that knows how much you care for this person and how much you have invested in him.

If it weren't for the fact he had small children i'm pretty sure it would be 100% unanimous, slap the pizz out of him and beech at him for being such a loser and wasting your time then slap him around some more just because he deserves it. Never ever did I get a good beat down from my ole man for being an idiot that didn't do me some good.

Before we get a rope and look for a tall tree there are alot of variables we don't know. How old is he? Is he from a loser home like he is creating for his children? Does he see you as a father type figure? Is he worth babysitting for the next couple years because that's what its going to take. Sometimes good people make bad decisions just because they don't know any other way. Now don't get me wrong I don't think we need to all sit around the campfire hold hands and sing happy songs but we are often a product of our enviroment and MAYBE JUST MAYBE Himark can prevent 2 more losers of society by spending the needed time with this guy. Again only you really know.

 

[theultrarider]

xrated,zach and sambo all have great points. I am all for a life line and helping this dude. My only point is that having been there, nobody can turn him around until HE wants to do so. It takes hitting your personal bottom to make this life changing decision. It is tough. This is the guys 3rd dwi he says...Obviously getting arrested and jail time is not bottom for this guy. A busted family is not bottom...It is truly amazing when you sit in an AA meeting what it takes for some folks to say that's it, I done with the alcohol. Alot of good people in those meeting. Not just "losers". Alot of bussiness owers and respected people. Dragging him to a meeting won't do any good either. He must want to be there and want to turn his life around. It is a tough road. If this guy does choose this road, then hell ya!!! Keep him around and you will have a guy that will work like dog for you. Good luck with this. There is no right answer for "us" to give you.

 

[Himark]

How old is he? Is he from a loser home like he is creating for his children?

He is 26 and you NAILED it on his home life. His dad has so many DUI/DWI's that when his kid got his first one the judge frowned on him and scolded him of following his dads footsteps. His dad left there family when he was 12 years old and he has always rezented that. His dad literally is the guy you see at the convienience store at 9 a.m. buying a 18 pack. He has seen what it had done to his family and yet he follows those same footsteps. He is a devoted father yet will lose his kids no doubt to this DWI only to go back to there loser mom.
His mom has done everything she can to help him stay out of this situation to the point it is straining her marriage to his step dad.

 

[DenverR1]

First of all I give you huge credit for being such a good person. You are in a hard spot. As said earlier, this guy probably needs to hit his rock bottom before he will turn his life around, and even then there might be relapses. And has it gotten to the point where his mother (and possibly you) have become an enabler for him? If he knows that people will cover for him when he screws up the decision to drink is a lot easier. There is also a chance that he might actually go to prison on this DUI. It really depends on the county you live in and their stances. I think you should probably let him go for a while to let him figure some things out. Then if he has proven himself after a year or so bring him back in. And his mom needs to take a hard line also. HE is making these choices, everyone else should not have to pay for them. Good luck, you seem like a very good man.

 

[AkMike]

There's been good points brought up through out this thread, But the bottom line is that you have a business to run. You can't do that effectively with employees that are flakes.
The personal end shouldn't enter into it. Maybe the kids will grow up better if they're in foster homes and away from that lifestyle.

 

[m7bandit]

i feel sorry for the guy as i'm sure you do, but it all depends on how much time, money and headache you are willing to deal with becouse i can almost guarantee you until he gets serious and gets help with his problem, (it shouldn't be yours), it will happen again and again until something really bad happens