You're an extreme redneck when:
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much
gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league," bowls on a different
night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered child care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Bonus Comment:
An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to
the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them
why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied
that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children
being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby
because neither of them could speak Spanish
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much
gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league," bowls on a different
night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered child care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Bonus Comment:
An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to
the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them
why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied
that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children
being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby
because neither of them could speak Spanish
