maybe it is time for a SW blanket party....
Domestic Violence - Any Excperience?
- Thread starter Wired1
- Start date
S
sledchick
Well-known member
First off, any jerk that threatens to kill you should be out of your life no questions asked! That dude has major problems. Take care of yourself first, learn self-defense there are classes..be smart walking to your car, know your surroundings..carry pepper spray. Get a dog, like others said. Lots of people have given great advice. But kick that f#*ker out of your life!!
Go talk to your neighbors! If the gal next door asked for help I'm sure most guys would be more than willing to help out and make there wifes jealouse at the same time.
Last edited:
I don't suggest a gun either, one must do some serious soul searching to even contemplate if they'd be able to use it.
If one decides "ya, I could use it if I had too". Then you'd better be DAYAMM comfortable with its operation. Once the adreneline kicks in you only have gross motor skill function with your hands, and even worse your thinking goes away too. Then your muscle memory and training comes to play. By training I don't mean just shooting the gun at a target, I mean scenerio training that your body can go to while on auto pilot.
I suggest the TRO, and have friends stay over if possible, or better yet stay at a friends house for a week.
after a week I'd say your threat will be subsided unless he's psyco but you've already said you think he's alright.
I might suggest an alarm for the future, in dog form or electronic. but this ain't gonna help in the mean time.
If one decides "ya, I could use it if I had too". Then you'd better be DAYAMM comfortable with its operation. Once the adreneline kicks in you only have gross motor skill function with your hands, and even worse your thinking goes away too. Then your muscle memory and training comes to play. By training I don't mean just shooting the gun at a target, I mean scenerio training that your body can go to while on auto pilot.
I suggest the TRO, and have friends stay over if possible, or better yet stay at a friends house for a week.
after a week I'd say your threat will be subsided unless he's psyco but you've already said you think he's alright.
I might suggest an alarm for the future, in dog form or electronic. but this ain't gonna help in the mean time.
Like everyone else said, there is absolutely NO reason to have someone like this in your life. Pack up all his stuff and take it to the police or sherriffs department for him to pick up. Or, since you are a lawyer, I'm sure you have lawyer friends whose office you could take it to for him to pick it up ALONG with a restraining order. I'm all for you getting some sort of personal defense weapon, whether it be pepper spray, a dog, a tazer, or a gun. However, if you DO get a gun, get a short barreled shotgun and load it with 00 buckshot and be DAMN SURE that you would be able to use it if you had to.
Another reason to get the restraining order is to protect yourself LEGALLY. Since you are a lawyer I'm sure you already know that but if you have the thing and he DOES come after you it would be self defense without question.
Bottom line is get him as far out or your life as possible before he DOES kill you.
Another reason to get the restraining order is to protect yourself LEGALLY. Since you are a lawyer I'm sure you already know that but if you have the thing and he DOES come after you it would be self defense without question.
Bottom line is get him as far out or your life as possible before he DOES kill you.
X
XC700116
ACCOUNT CLOSED
As both a Gun toting freak and someone that grew up in a household with this situation.
1. Don't get a gun unless you take a training course and practice using it and are 100% sure you will be able to pull the trigger if it were to ever come to that.
2. Do everything by the book and involve law enforcement. Kick him out, sever ALL contact with him, Get the restraining order, and a nice furry friend is a good idea as previously stated.
3. Get a MONITORED security system installed in your house. ADT, Brinks, and the others normally will do the install and provide the equipment free of charge with a 3 year service contract for monitoring. I pay $38/month for mine and it is a cellular based system so the old cut the phone line trick doesn't work.
It's sad that anyone should have to deal with this situation in their own home but it happens and there are good ways to deal with it.
1. Don't get a gun unless you take a training course and practice using it and are 100% sure you will be able to pull the trigger if it were to ever come to that.
2. Do everything by the book and involve law enforcement. Kick him out, sever ALL contact with him, Get the restraining order, and a nice furry friend is a good idea as previously stated.
3. Get a MONITORED security system installed in your house. ADT, Brinks, and the others normally will do the install and provide the equipment free of charge with a 3 year service contract for monitoring. I pay $38/month for mine and it is a cellular based system so the old cut the phone line trick doesn't work.
It's sad that anyone should have to deal with this situation in their own home but it happens and there are good ways to deal with it.
I had a sailor that worked for me with a violence problem: used to beat the wife and kids when drunk then one day when sober, but stressed, dang near killed her in front of the kids.
Change all the locks.
Keep your cell phone on you if it works at the house.. the land line can be cut.
Restraining order. If he disobeys it call the cops, every time.
Dog that doesn't like him or know him.
If you go for a gun I suggest a riot shotgun, short barrel semi-automatic or a double barrel coach gun. Doesn't have to be loaded with 00-buck.. lighter loads will stop without killing.
Change all the locks.
Keep your cell phone on you if it works at the house.. the land line can be cut.
Restraining order. If he disobeys it call the cops, every time.
Dog that doesn't like him or know him.
If you go for a gun I suggest a riot shotgun, short barrel semi-automatic or a double barrel coach gun. Doesn't have to be loaded with 00-buck.. lighter loads will stop without killing.
UPDATE: He's terrified of what I can do. His employer asked me what to do and I asked they don't fire him. My phone has been blowing up with DV Advocates and cops calling and coming by. He and I have talked and he knows he blew it. I spent a few days with friends, but I'm home now and have locks he can't get through. And 5 male friends on call. Police came by yesterday and assured me it's ok to call them. I think I'm ok. I don't think he'll come after me as long as he stays sober.. Again, he knows he lost a good living situation. But I'll be jumpy for awhile.
Thank you all for your concern and input. I really appreciate it!!!!
Thank you all for your concern and input. I really appreciate it!!!!
T
theultrarider
Well-known member
So what kind of dog are your getting? They make great best freinds, and are great listeners at times like this. They will also be the first to have your back! Best of luck.
I have 2 kitties so I can't get a dog. But I'll be ok. He knows the cops are watching me to ensure my safety (small town). As are all my neighbors.
On another note, Seattle lost an icon. RIP Tuba Man. I missed you on Wednesday and will miss you.
Again, thanks for the input and support. That's why I came here, for input.
Remove him from your life. Immediately.
If you know there is violence, and you don't remove the perpetrator (physically, communication etc), you're basically opening the door for more problems.
Have another male friend stay with you for a while.
In that situation, once he know's you're not alone, hell be less likely to approach the home.
Best of luck.
MD.
If you know there is violence, and you don't remove the perpetrator (physically, communication etc), you're basically opening the door for more problems.
Have another male friend stay with you for a while.
In that situation, once he know's you're not alone, hell be less likely to approach the home.
Best of luck.
MD.
M
mtnjunkie
Well-known member
Good for you. You have to be tough with men like this, you CANNOT feel sorry for them or think they will change. They won't! Although they can beg and be nice, it will all go away as soon as they start drinking or get upset at something. I spent a couple years thinking one would change, and he would for a couple weeks. When it came down to threatening me with a 45 I finally got the hell out-otherwise my cousins would have paid him a visit. If you have a gun you need to be confident you can and will use it if you need to. You could also get a cat friendly dog. Even if they won't attack, they will warn you if someone tries to get in. Also very good for taking walks- someone will think twice if you have a dog with you, even if they just bark. Do not answer his calls, you really need to cut him off completely. No contact is best.
