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I think I should design a portable rocking chair - something with wheels and a handle that can be folded up and dragged around like an oversized carry-on bag. Perhaps I'll call it the Porta Rocker.
I know you're starting to wonder whether I've completely lost it, but humor me for a few paragraphs.
The pinnacle of any self-respecting snowmobile enthusiast is to reach the financial point of no return where the construction of a suitable two (three if you're putting on airs) stall garage on one's property is finally possible. Notice I didn't say two-car garage, because this puppy isn't meant for cars.
You know what I'm talking about. A garage with dimensions somewhere on the order of 30x30-ft., but certainly not less than 25x25... to be politically incorrect, "A Man Garage."
Full insulation is an absolute necessity. Some form of heat is also essential. The high-brow crowd goes with full floor heat along with a gas-fired boiler supplying the bubbly. Middle of the road garage-a-holics go with the $100 cast-off propane furnace that they bought at a rummage sale 5 years ago "just in case." The ones who run out of funds constructing the garage thumb their collective noses at fire marshals everywhere and opt for the homemade, 55-gal. drum, wood burner complete with leaking 20 piece galvanized steel chimney which leaves a wonderful gray/black patina on the Sheetrock ceiling. Throw in a floor drain (functional or not), a few sheets of pegboard, a tool chest as tall as a Marshall amp stack, boom box, TV/DVD/VCR combo and a bunch of posters depicting sleds that you own, owned or wish you owned, and there you have it.
However, there is one element I failed to mention thus far in this testosterone museum, an observation point, if you will. Some of the finest quality time many armchair motorheads have ever spent in our internal combustion bliss is firmly planted in or on the comfy chair of our choice analyzing, mentally fabricating, holding court and constructively critiquing our toy collection. The masters of all we survey.
Our throne could be a tattered lawn chair, no longer chic enough for the patio or deck, perhaps a reclining office chair purchased at a church charity auction for the stately sum of 3 bucks, and let's not forget about the old standby, a flipped over plastic 5-gal. pail, once happily containing bulk pickles, cake frosting or drywall mud. Now it strains under the weight of The Thinking Man and it's happy to accept the challenge.
My personal favorite: a rocking chair. With an adult beverage in hand, Gear Daddies music drifting from a boom box speaker, I can sit in a rocker for hours pondering every accessory that could ever be added, soaking in every body line ever created and opposing or applauding every design team decision at every corporation ever to produce a powersports product that found it's way into my garage.
I simply space-out for what is intended to be 15 minutes, but it quickly turns into a couple hours and it can happen anytime of day. I can sit and stare at my '65 Arctic Cat 120D and imagine a fledgling company, the welders who put the frame together, the beginnings of mass snowmobile production in northwestern Minnesota or why an "Arctic Cat" decal with a flying polar bear?
Then I can cast my gaze on, what I consider to be, one of the coolest snowmobile posters ever printed, Tim Bender in a full tuck on his Formula III 1992 Yamaha Vmax-4. I remember a guy from Yamaha telling me he helped out in the 80-degree studio, in the dead of summer while this shot was taken. Years before PhotoShop, it occurs to me that this bad ass looking action shot never really happened. Yes, if it weren't for sleep and personal hygiene, this could go on for days.
However, my choice of garage floor observatory does present some problems. You see I have rocker withdrawal whenever I attend a vintage snowmobile show. Ditto for the swap meet at Hay Days. The problem even extends itself to races and dealer's showrooms. I just simply cannot reach a suitable level of enjoyment or achieve Zen-like karma without my rocker.
Now, hauling around a rocking chair, whether a sprung lawn rocker, a traditional model or a fancy solid oak glider rocker would simply require more infrastructure and effort than I personally can muster - thus, the Porta Rocker… "Bringing the garage to the rest of the world."
Maybe I'm walking along at Hay Days and I stumble upon a booth with a 1971 Scorpion Super Stinger carcass, a mostly whole 1977 John Deere Liquifire 440 and a complete 793cc Hirth triple sitting on a folding card table. Should I stand there from foot to foot for 49 seconds scanning, reminiscing and then moving on? Not with Porta Rocker. Simply stop, unfold, sit down and space-out.
Utopia? Not really. Utopia would include the owner of the booth flipping open hoods, providing 360-degree views to cast the best light on body lines and various components, and delivering ice cold beverages upon request, but I'll take what I can get.
Tom Clement was raised in Grand Forks, N.D., and has been involved in the snowmobile industry for 30 years. Besides being a college business instructor and writer, he enjoys spending his spare time with his family, that is, when he's not finding new excuses to go riding or spacing out in his garage. His columns regularly appear on www.AmSnow.com.Pink Ribbon Rider's website