Retirement Fun

[AkMike]

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our Days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the News Stand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, 'Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than write a retired person a ticket? Why aren't you out chasing crooks or child molesters...that's out of your league, obviously!!!

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him 'Barney Fife'.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. & lt;

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care..... I came downtown on the bus. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said 'OBAMA in '08.'

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

 

[Ex-Member]

hahaha, nice

 

[Good to Go]

Like it...

 

[bullfrog123]

That' great!!!!

 

[Abominable]

I wonder if this is the same guy:

Mr. and Mrs. Pallone are retired. Mrs. Pallone insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Pallone loves to browse.
Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Pallone,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

All complaints against Mr. Pallone are listed below.

Things Mr. Pallone has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... And watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the anti-depressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, and yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!'

And last, but not least ..

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey, There's no toilet paper in here!'

 

[redlineguy]

LMFAO both good ones

 

[Dare-Ya]

Thanks for the laughs!

 

[SAWYER]

hahahahahaha on both

 

[sldgy]

I'm sure I've done some of those types of things but I just can't remember the particulars.