I'm bored watching football now so I'll bite.
1) "Zero assets to speak of". Yeah, I guess if you parse out the $20B in cash, the rather large IP portfolio in the heavily sought after AI/ML/EV spaces, their three factories and social capital that can only be compared to a handful of companies on the planet...sure. Why don't you just google their balance sheet before saying ridiculously stupid things? I'm not a buyer of Tesla stock, but to suggest they have "no assets" is like saying "Google has no assets". You likely have no understanding of the immense value technology brings to the fray and how valuing tech asks the analyst to apply a different lens.
2) Show me the other self driving (or self steering) that goes about 150 miles for $3.50.
3) Have you used their AI systems? Do you understand how impressive they are? Its an AMAZING feat. You can't build real world usable (improving) AI without software that can learn, and this learning system is based around constant updates. If you don't see how cool it is the car can continually update itself based on a neural net that is consistently improving based on all the other cars on the network, I don't know what to tell you. You don't see the power of closed loop machine learning based software development.
4) Tesla more interested in what the OEMs are doing rather than the OEMs are more interested in Tesla? Have you looked at what the big companies are hiring around. AI, machine learning and electric. Tell me again how the tail wags the dog?
I have no doubts the company had a lot of problems in the early 2010s through mid 2010s, and the company is FAR from perfect. But if you want a glimpse into the future, or you want to see something that is actually disruptive, its the best example I've seen in over a decade. Again, the closest analogy is what Apple did to the phone world. The iPhone was SO far beyond where BB was it was like looking at a jet when everything else was piston powered.
A bite? Seems like more of a pucker to me.
By assets I was referring to physical. They are incredibly over-valued compared to other auto makers who have incredibly larger IP portfolios and 100x the physical assets. Tesla sucks at patenting their stuff. Again...their stock value has far more to do with Elon talking about flame throwers on Twitter than the AI in their cars, which I've been driving since 2014.
As far as hiring goes....plant workers are of far more value to the OEM's right now than any of their engineering staff. In shops where the unions don't call the shots, engineers are putting in hours keeping lines running. You're a bit behind the times.
iPhone's are crap. Jobs is dead. Get over it.