Last one to POAST wins a Klim Inferno shirt!!!!

[800 Dragon 163]

JOKE TIME

I have a new pick up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how
gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I
always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes, "Excuse me love, could I
ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?"

 

[PhantomCat]

LMFAOROTFPMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[801]

ROFLMAO!!!! works every time too!!!!!

 

[PhantomCat]

I am sure I just spit wine through my nose!!!!!!!!!!

 

[800 Dragon 163]

I had an Idea that one would kill! LOL Give me your best

 

[PhantomCat]

What do top fuel dragster drivers and HOARS have in common????

They love the smell of burning rubber!

 

[801]

LOL!!! Thats so true!!

 

[800 Dragon 163]

Top tip: if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next
tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps
open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck.....I
appear in court next Monday.

 

[800 Dragon 163]

I got fired on my first day as a masseur today.. Apparently the instruction
'finish off on her face didn't mean what I thought it did.'

 

[801]

That funny!!! I don't care who ya are now!! Thats funny!!

 

[PhantomCat]

Too funny!!!

 

[800 Dragon 163]

BEER AND JOKES!!! ing it...

 

[PhantomCat]

Good luck to ya boys...off to build some rib eyes, asparagus and fried taters!!

Good night!

 

[800 Dragon 163]

Nummy

 

[800 Dragon 163]

Okay a few more jokes:

A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about
the wait.' I said, 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually.'

 

[801]

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."

The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."

The man at the door says, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"

 

[801]

A man applied for a job with a chain food store. “What is your experience with groceries?” asked the interviewer. “Well,” said the applicant. “I’m eating them all the time.”

 

[800 Dragon 163]

 

[801]

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!” says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," Says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

 

[800 Dragon 163]

I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of
jeans that said, 'Guess.'
I said, "I don't know........maybe 350 pounds."