Kids say the darndest things

[cpa]

Has anyone heard Bill Engvall's bit about the "weiner theif" well that is my 2 year old to a T right now. He always has a hand down his pants. So we are sitting in church Sunday and he is being really good just laying on the bench. Pretty soon his hand goes down his pants and loud enough for the entire ward to hear he says "Mom my peep is getting big" I thought my poor wife was going to die. I thought the entire meeting was going to have to be stopped because everyone was laughing so hard.

Yesterday my wife was at my parents house working on some last minute Christmas stuff and she heard my mom say "I'm going to have to put a whole roll of tape on your package if you don't stop playing with it" Once again my wife wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She went down stairs and it turns out he was just trying to open his Christmas presents. My mom couldn't understand why my wife seemed so relieved.

On their way home last night my 2 year old says "Mom my bum stinks" (he is potty trained) before my wife could say anything my 4 year old says "Dont worry everyones bum stinks" 2 year old says no mine is the stinkiest they then proceed to argue for 10 minutes over who has the stinkiest bum. I cant imagine what life is going to be like when they are teenagers.

You have got to love kids. There is never a dull moment at my house

 

[JedInUtah]

That was a good laugh for today!

 

[PJ-Hunter]

HA HA! The other day when I was out we were waiting for some help and this older lady and her mother came in. Now this lady was old, she had to be about 85 and she had real floppy chin skin, you know. And that was the FIRST thing my 5 year old son saw and he has a really loud voice and he jumped up and asked, "Daddy, what happened to her neck?"

I started gagging.

 

[Chief]

it's the grandma's who are wise..

I think the best thing I ever heard told to a kid who wouldn't let go of his "package" is a grandma saying "you can let go now.. the glue is dry.. If you don't I'll cut it off and glue it back on again..." the kid never grabbed it around her again...

Welcome to the age of potty jokes.. they only get worse until they break into other taboo's like sex..

 

[Skinner]

LMAO! I love the truthful words that come out kids mouths.

 

[1MEX]

Thats funny!! Now you have something to remind them when they grow up! I do and they hate me for it when their friends are around!! Good times!!

 

[WXNic]

that's funny. you really have to be careful around them. last year my twins were 2 and i heard one say to the other "damnit camryn!"

 

[mtnpull]

Hilarious....thanks for sharing! There is never a dull moment when the kids are around.

 

[mtnpull]

BTW, this thread got me thinking. We (my wife) keeps a blog where she writes all the funny and cute things we want to remember about raising our boys. After reading your post, I just spent the last hour reading through the memories. Thanks again for the post. It was a nice reminder to look back at the blessing our kids are!

 

[girlpowder]

That is funny! Oh the stories. We have many. When you have a boy and girl 22 months apart finally noticing they are different. Oh dear, the questions and the comparisons.
I agree, never a dull moment.

 

[cpa]

that's funny. you really have to be careful around them. last year my twins were 2 and i heard one say to the other "damnit camryn!"

I was driving around looking for a place the other day with my 6 year old and when we got there she said, I'm glad we finally figured out how in the hell to get here Dad. I about fell over and said what did you say? She looked up at me and just gave me that look of oh I'm so sorry. Then I realized who she must have just heard say it. Another one of my better parenting moments.

 

[PJ-Hunter]

that's funny. you really have to be careful around them. last year my twins were 2 and i heard one say to the other "damnit camryn!"

Really? PJ was playing a Backyardigans racing game on Nickjr.com yestersday and I guess he got passed or something and out came "Effing Idiot"

EEEK! I really need to watch my yapper in traffic, eh? He rips out a ton of funny stuff, so much that I can't keep track. Hunter can't talk yet but he makes sounds and last night I swear that he was trying to say "Brother" I was floored cause we would say it and then he would say "budder". I'll take it.


I also remember when my nephew (now 14) was 2. He parents are, shall we say, not quiet and at the time didn't close doors. So one Christmas Day when we were all sitting around waiting for the bird and visiting (my sister-in-law's parents were there and her Dad is a VERY DEVOUT and old fashioned Southern Baptist minister) and Dustin starts making this high pitched "uh uh uh hu eee" sound and we turn and see him on top of the very large teddy bear that I had gotten him, mimicking what he had apparently seen earlier sometime. His mother got very red-faced and ran to her room and didn't come out the rest of the day. The funny thing is that her Dad, me and her husband were all laughing so hard we couldn't breathe.

After things calmed down, her Dad went to her door, still chuckling, and said "Daughter, I guess next time you will take God's gifts and be quiet and shut doors." And he walked away.

 

[Tree Boss]

Lmao^^^^^

 

[PJ-Hunter]

That is funny! Oh the stories. We have many. When you have a boy and girl 22 months apart finally noticing they are different. Oh dear, the questions and the comparisons.
I agree, never a dull moment.

Your smilies are almost as funny. Where in the heck do you get all of those?

Now, back on topic. Sorry for the Hijack