Idiot Sighting....

[bigmac83]

A little long but good for a laugh!

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window, and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4..25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, 'We're sorry, but we cannot do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

>From Kansas City


IDIOT SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , AL


IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker (She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing') our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare..

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her life couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'

His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... They REPRODUCE, and scariest of all.. They VOTE!!

 

[Ex-Member]

True story.... if you've ever been to dinosaur ridge, it's right off C470 on the hogback southwest of denver about 10mins from my house. High school graduation, had a bunch of family out and stopped there to see the dinosaur tracks in the clay. Another family was nearby and I overheard a lady say "It's amazing the dinosaurs came this close to the highway".

Another true story; was at the visitors center of a local state park and overheard someone ask the guide what time of year the deer turn into elk.

Some people really amaze me.

 

[buck50]

True story.... if you've ever been to dinosaur ridge, it's right off C470 on the hogback southwest of denver about 10mins from my house. High school graduation, had a bunch of family out and stopped there to see the dinosaur tracks in the clay. Another family was nearby and I overheard a lady say "It's amazing the dinosaurs came this close to the highway".

Another true story; was at the visitors center of a local state park and overheard someone ask the guide what time of year the deer turn into elk.

Some people really amaze me.

true story here too. had a friend working a tourist spot in edmonton. he had some tourists stop in and ask when they turned on the northern lights cause they didn't want to miss the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[bigmac83]

LMAO!!!! I've always heard the dinosoars around there aren't very bashful....they'll come right up to your car and eat a t-bone sticking out of the sun roof! People never cease to amaze me.

I like the Northern Lights one too....I always knew it was a scam!!! LOL

 

[POLZIN]

"It's amazing the dinosaurs came this close to the highway".


Maybe there used to be a dinosaur crossing sign there

The human race has nearly overcome the law of natural selection but at least its amusing sometimes!

 

[nmmiles]

Another True Story:

Waiting in line to receive papers back in my writing course. About 250 students acting like a huge cluster FuK getting out of the lecture hall and pilling into a big crowd/line to get to the front and find their paper. Their were 2 girls in front of me complaining saying that their had to be a better way to return papers then the way it was being done now. Girl 1 looks at Girl 2 and says "Why don't they have a pile for everyones last name A-Z?" and Girl 2 replies with emphasis " BECAUSE THEIR WOULD BE LIKE 50 PILES!!" and without missing a beat Girl 1 quickly says "No their wouldn't, it would be like 35 tops!"........

and people say college makes you smarter......

 

[justadude]

I once heard a coworker say " This is the 3rd time I've given them a 2nd chance!!!"

 

[sleddinhusker]

Those are great!

Being a teacher I hear all sorts of stuff, but my favorite would be when we were talking about the country of Columbia's exports, main one being coffee. One kid, a junior and farmer's kid, could not imagine the machine used to pick up all the coffee grounds on the ground.

Another one, mom works in the ER in a hospital along I-80. A lady from Colorado is taken to the hospital after a bad wreck on the interstate during a snow storm. Mom asked her how fast she was going and why didn't she slow down. "Well, they hadn't changed the speed limit on the signs yet."

Having diner over at a friends house when I was back in high school. My friends mom asked me about my trip to South Dakota. Tell her all about the Black Hills and Mount Rushmore. She asks me, "I've always wondered this. Were the faces always there or do you think they are man made?"

Honestly!!

 

[Scott]

NO BS, I was watching a herd of elk in September one year at Yellowstone Park. Went down to catch the rut...which is REALLY cool. Was a little bit after dusk...

Gal says to the park ranger "What do they do with all the animals a night?"
I dunno where she was from but I was LMFAO.

I once heard a coworker say " This is the 3rd time I've given them a 2nd chance!!!"

I wonder how well behaved her kids are. LMFAO!!!!!!!

 

[HillsRider]

I spent a few years working at a service station on I-90. A tourist stopped in one day and told me that he thought he had seen a jackalope, but it didn't have any horns... I told him only the bucks have horns.

 

[buck50]

I spent a few years working at a service station on I-90. A tourist stopped in one day and told me that he thought he had seen a jackalope, but it didn't have any horns... I told him only the bucks have horns.

i worked at a gas station in high school, and had a buddy working at a different one down the street. we used to send peeps to each other ALL the time to have their "winter" air changed out for "summer" air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WyoUltra]

I was working for a dealership last summer. We were having an "off site sale" my boss tells me to go to walmart and get some water because its hot and its on sale there. Ok. I get handed maybe 5 gift cards for walmart (5 dollars on each) and I go into walmart and get the water. I put it in the cart and roll it up to the check out and the lady starts scanning them and using the gift cards, it it ended up like $22.40 or something. The lady scans the last card and then throws it away like all the others. I ask her, "Do I get any change back?" and she goes, "Nope your all done," and she smiles.

 

[PJ-Hunter]

Being a teacher I hear all sorts of stuff, but my favorite would be when we were talking about the country of Columbia's exports, main one being coffee. One kid, a junior and farmer's kid, could not imagine the machine used to pick up all the coffee grounds on the ground.

Another one, mom works in the ER in a hospital along I-80. A lady from Colorado (who was coming back to Ogallala to visit and attend her High School reunion) is taken to the hospital after a bad wreck on the interstate during a snow storm. Mom asked her how fast she was going and why didn't she slow down. "Well, they hadn't changed the speed limit on the signs yet."

Having diner over at a friends house when I was back in high school. My friends mom asked me about my trip to South Dakota. Tell her all about the Black Hills and Mount Rushmore. She asks me, "I've always wondered this. Were the faces always there or do you think they are man made?"

Honestly!!

Fixed it for ya!

 

[Blu Du]

had a buddy in school he was 16 just got his license and dad gave him a nice car. he asked a girl if he could give her a ride home she said yes. he stops behind a semi at a stop light so he thinks. hes talking and sitting in his lane behind this semi for over 10 min. he said they wondered what was taking so long for the light to turn. then all of a sudden a guy walks around to the back off the truck opens the door up throws his 2 wheeled dolly in the back and hops in his rig and takes off. i think my buddy had ***** on his mind. we gave him **** for years after that

 

[XC700116]

I know a lady that started feeding her infant Goats milk (fresh from the goat) because

"Goat's milk comes out of the goat already pastuerized"

took all i could do not to slap her.

 

[Goldenwest]

The wife and I were in Yellowstone park one spring watching the buffalo with their new born. Quit a big heard with lots of young. A lady standing next to me asks what are all the little red dogs doing with the buffalo? I look at her and said, since the reintroduction of the wolves these dogs protect the new born from them. She looked around and finally said well it must be working because I don't see any wolves...................

 

[Scott]

The wife and I were in Yellowstone park one spring watching the buffalo with their new born. Quit a big heard with lots of young. A lady standing next to me asks what are all the little red dogs doing with the buffalo? I look at her and said, since the reintroduction of the wolves these dogs protect the new born from them. She looked around and finally said well it must be working because I don't see any wolves...................

BWAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA. LMFAO.

You shoulda told her that's what stress from the wolve pressure does to full buffalo and that's all the bigger they get now.

 

[sleddinhusker]

Fixed it for ya!

LOL sad but true. I would come back with something witty, but.............ya, ..............I got nothin.

 

[zach477]

I know I have a lot of idiot sighting moments but they are all eluding me right now….. I did however; work with a lady at my last company that was in charge of our quality. She liked to call herself a quality engineer but that’s like a burger king sandwich assembler proclaiming themselves as a five star chef. She worked for the company for 9 months before I was brought on; we made utility lift trucks (you know the trucks with a boom and basket). Well there was a paint quality issue and they brought a few engineers down to look at it …..plus her. If you saw this lady you could imagine her dumb 400lbs a*s waddling down the aisle towards the truck and it would make it that much funnier. She gets to the group and interrupts our conversation by saying “boy that’s a nice lookin truck huh…..hud hud hud (fat person laugh)” the paint issue we had was causing large areas of paint to fall off in 10x10 or larger chunks, this truck exhibited said issues. She then followed up by saying “so whats the issue here, paint or something? Why don’t we just spray paint over what fell of…..where is this stuff falling off anyway? I replied “something in our process isn’t right, our paint and primer are not compatible and the paint is falling off the primer”…she returned “well heck where is the fiberglass on these things? The fenders? Hey shouldn’t that be the truck makers problem….im gonna call International right now!” One of my co-workers replied “no the fiberglass section on the boom”….she said “oh the boom, whats that again is that this?”…..she pointed to an outrigger. Our company ONLY builds the BOOMS that go on TRUCKS, she worked there for almost a year by that time and didn’t know what the boom was.....when I left the company a year later she was still there, sad.

 

[uptomyarmpits]

Had a lady call me 2:30 am to ask what she should feed her orphaned pot bellied pigs. So I told her to feed them cows milk until she got some swine milk replacer the next day. She then asks me where she was going to get cows milk at that time of the night???? The Fridge!!