HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2019
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , formerly known
as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to
weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive
year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United
States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling
for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays
and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January
2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , formerly known
as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to
weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive
year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United
States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling
for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays
and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January
2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
