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buck50
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> GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
> 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush
> your hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
> always catch the second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's
> lap.
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree
> 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few
> nuts.
> 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held
> its ground.
> 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the
> inside.
> 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
> fibre, not the toy.
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>
> 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
> 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I
> can get.
> 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do
> while you're down there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation
> from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller
> coaster.
> 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but
> nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
> 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy
> beautician.
> 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>
> 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> 3) You are Santa Claus.
> 4) You look like Santa Claus.
>
>
> SUCCESS:
>
> At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
> At age 12 success is . . having friends.
> At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
> At age 35 success is . . having money.
> At age 50 success is . . having money.
> At age 70 success is . . having a drivers licence.
> At age 75 success is . . having friends.
> At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
>
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
> 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush
> your hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
> always catch the second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's
> lap.
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>
> 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree
> 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few
> nuts.
> 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held
> its ground.
> 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the
> inside.
> 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
> fibre, not the toy.
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>
> 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
> 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I
> can get.
> 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do
> while you're down there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation
> from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller
> coaster.
> 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but
> nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
> 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy
> beautician.
> 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>
> 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> 3) You are Santa Claus.
> 4) You look like Santa Claus.
>
>
> SUCCESS:
>
> At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
> At age 12 success is . . having friends.
> At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
> At age 35 success is . . having money.
> At age 50 success is . . having money.
> At age 70 success is . . having a drivers licence.
> At age 75 success is . . having friends.
> At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
