I think about this a lot. Here's my perspective:
You're right about the families of the lost being undeserving of the consequences (of a loved one dying doing what they love), but there's more than one way to lose someone - to depression or the bottle, or any other escape from a mundane existence.
Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow, no matter how safe a lifestyle they choose. You could give up riding the mountains today, and die falling down stairs tomorrow.
I had a near death experience a couple years ago, which included a bit of time to think about what I wished I'd done with my life. My regrets? Mostly, not doing the things that I'd always wanted to do, and never done because they were "too dangerous".
I'd never piloted an airplane...gone surfing...ridden my snowboard in the backcountry...rode a motorcycle to Alaska...told my friends that I loved them...and so on.
If you think about it, the most regrettable deaths are the young...why? Because of how little of life they've gotten to experience. Don't impoverish your life for nothing more than the possible delay of death - it's experiences like riding in the mountains that make life worth living.
If you're a parent, live life the way you want your children to live it. I want my kids to live life to the fullest, and I intend to lead by example.
That's not to say that we should all take risks that can be mitigated - by all means, ride with the best avy gear you can buy, and know how to use it. If the slide risk is high, leave that hill for another day. Spend the paltry $1000 on an ABS pack, and buy that boost kit later.
At the end of the day, I'd rather die trying to live than live trying not to die.