XRATED: I went through it and after seeing first hand the American children in need of a loving family, please go that route.
We started the process through an agency 2 years before PJ (the adopted one) was born in October 2004.
It cost us $14,000 through the agency and that paid for FBI, CBI and local background checks, counseling for both us and the birth mother and a 3 month long homestudy, which we had to have re-done because we bought a larger house.
After we paid $5000 up front we got a loan as a Second on our house and paid the rest. We both had to write letters, resumes and references addressed to any potential birth mothers. Those had to be submitted, read and approved by the Agency.
We both had to get extensive medical physicals (they want to be sure that you aren't going to die on the child or pass a disease on to them)
My wife decided to put together a scrapbook of us, as a husband and wife. She included pictures of our homes, pets, hobbies and extended family. That sealed the deal for us. I'd suggest having your wife do it.
Then we spent the next year going to meetings, counselings and waiting for a call when a birth mother had viewed our profile info and the pictures. We got a call in September telling us that a young woman had chosen us and she'd like to meet. So we arranged a nuetral place to meet (Applebees for us) and had dinner with the agent and the young woman. After the agent was comfortable with the situation she left and we continued to visit. She (Jaime. We gave Parker the middle name, James to honor her for her lifelong gift to us) liked us and said that she'd love it if we were to be the baby's parents and then asked us to attend her weekly DR appointments. We made the first apppointment and then 2 weeks later we got a call at 11pm that she was going into labor. We flew to Denver and were there for his birth and he has been with us ever since. We had to wait close to a year to be able to have the courts make it official and issue us a new cirth certificate with our name on it.
It's been rewarding and it taught us a lesson. But, IMO there are so many children here, in America that need mommys and daddys there is no need to go overseas and that is not a racist remark. Foreign adoptions are harder and more often than not you have to travel several times to said country and pay the officials there alot. It was described to us by the agent as more of a bribe than a fee. The more you could afford to pay the better your chances. Another downfall is that the medical background is not as clear as it is in the US, you don't know what you may getting as far as diseases and illnesses go. 9 out of 10 times you won't even know or meet the birthmother so you won't know her history. Foreign adoptions are a gamble, to say the least.
Congrats and good luck.
