Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
'Dad.' Fearing the worst, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you
and Mom. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it's not only the passion. . . Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy says that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves
and trading it for cocaine and ecstasy with the other people that live
nearby. In the meantime, we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS
so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son,
John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card That's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
'Dad.' Fearing the worst, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you
and Mom. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it's not only the passion. . . Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy says that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves
and trading it for cocaine and ecstasy with the other people that live
nearby. In the meantime, we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS
so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son,
John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card That's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
