I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the cats to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.
I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them).
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has cats on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 cats (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see cats when sitting with arms crossed, cats would have been better if they glowed in the dark.