A thread on SW asked about what gear bag should be bought. A friend of mine posted part of the story of me getting my gear bag, so I thought I would share the whole thing.
My wife bought me a large bag from a local sporting goods store, it was big but not quite big enough to hold everything all at once, so one afternoon we went back to the store to return it and see if they had one I liked.
I took it over to the return counter and the girl asked what the problem was, my response was genuine, I said the bag wasn't big enough and that I wanted one that was bigger.
The little gal was a cutie of about 17 years old, and with a very big confused expression said, what do you need an even bigger bag for??
Well this started the gears of mischievous turning…. I turned to my wife and smiled; my prankster side kicked in and I said...
Well I am a professional assassin and this bag will not hold a full body, I have to cut them in half and use two bags, that adds to my expense, not to mention the mess and the additional time required at “the scene” to get the job done....
She nearly fell over, her mouth fell open and she said "you've go to be kidding". Holding my composure I said no, it’s just a problem that I don’t want to deal with (would you), so do you have a larger bag.
My wife just rolled her eyes and moved a few steps away, just to listen.
The sales girl was obviously shocked and really nervous, so she called an assistant. She asked him if they had a bigger bag, and softly whispered my “reason”... Well the assistant was a kid of about 20, who looked at me and caught my faint wink; he immediately caught on and played the game.
He left to get the biggest hockey bag they had, and happened across the manager and "gave him the skinny".
Meanwhile I’m laying it on thick about my “job” and the sales girl is hooked, totally hooked, believing every word with wide open big blue eyes (yes she was blond) and an open mouth of non-belief.
The manager made himself available when the assistant brought back the bag. This is when I asked the sales girl; will this bag hold an entire body? My wife tried to shush me and just kind of smiled at the same time. So I asked the girl to get in the bag. She said NO WAY! So I pulled the old “the customer is always right routine” and she kept saying no, at this time the manager intervenes and asks if everything is okay, I had a thought that he was in the know so I gave him the matter of fact rundown.. He explains to her that, she should do what was needed to make the sale and make the customer happy.
It’s about this time that the word is spreading through the workers in the store and people start appearing nearby, acting like they are working, one of them even ran to the office and grabbed a camera.
So the sales girl begrudgingly unzips the bag and puts it over her head, and crouches down on the ground and is mostly inside the bag. I tell the manager that this is a good try but I would like to see if a body would actually lay inside not crouching, with a little explanation of how bodies don’t hold their posture and how they tend to flop around and be limp….the manager asks me if I want her to lay down inside it. I respond of Corse! How else would I confirm the bag would work, that the zipper would hold and that the handle rivets were strong enough? When I would need it, is not the time to find out that it wouldn’t hold up!
So she takes the bag off and sets it on the floor, she then steps into it and lies down inside it, so I ask the manager if I can zip it up, and he says sure! I zip it closed and heaved it over my shoulder and carried her across the store!
When I unzipped the bag the poor gal was so relieved and the co workers as well as several customers all busted up laughing, the real funny part is that she still didn’t get it, another worker friend had to explain it to her!!! The manager high fived me and gave me a discount on the bag!
They posted the pictures in the break room with an explanation and captions!!!!!
Spomey
My wife bought me a large bag from a local sporting goods store, it was big but not quite big enough to hold everything all at once, so one afternoon we went back to the store to return it and see if they had one I liked.
I took it over to the return counter and the girl asked what the problem was, my response was genuine, I said the bag wasn't big enough and that I wanted one that was bigger.
The little gal was a cutie of about 17 years old, and with a very big confused expression said, what do you need an even bigger bag for??
Well this started the gears of mischievous turning…. I turned to my wife and smiled; my prankster side kicked in and I said...
Well I am a professional assassin and this bag will not hold a full body, I have to cut them in half and use two bags, that adds to my expense, not to mention the mess and the additional time required at “the scene” to get the job done....
She nearly fell over, her mouth fell open and she said "you've go to be kidding". Holding my composure I said no, it’s just a problem that I don’t want to deal with (would you), so do you have a larger bag.
My wife just rolled her eyes and moved a few steps away, just to listen.
The sales girl was obviously shocked and really nervous, so she called an assistant. She asked him if they had a bigger bag, and softly whispered my “reason”... Well the assistant was a kid of about 20, who looked at me and caught my faint wink; he immediately caught on and played the game.
He left to get the biggest hockey bag they had, and happened across the manager and "gave him the skinny".
Meanwhile I’m laying it on thick about my “job” and the sales girl is hooked, totally hooked, believing every word with wide open big blue eyes (yes she was blond) and an open mouth of non-belief.
The manager made himself available when the assistant brought back the bag. This is when I asked the sales girl; will this bag hold an entire body? My wife tried to shush me and just kind of smiled at the same time. So I asked the girl to get in the bag. She said NO WAY! So I pulled the old “the customer is always right routine” and she kept saying no, at this time the manager intervenes and asks if everything is okay, I had a thought that he was in the know so I gave him the matter of fact rundown.. He explains to her that, she should do what was needed to make the sale and make the customer happy.
It’s about this time that the word is spreading through the workers in the store and people start appearing nearby, acting like they are working, one of them even ran to the office and grabbed a camera.
So the sales girl begrudgingly unzips the bag and puts it over her head, and crouches down on the ground and is mostly inside the bag. I tell the manager that this is a good try but I would like to see if a body would actually lay inside not crouching, with a little explanation of how bodies don’t hold their posture and how they tend to flop around and be limp….the manager asks me if I want her to lay down inside it. I respond of Corse! How else would I confirm the bag would work, that the zipper would hold and that the handle rivets were strong enough? When I would need it, is not the time to find out that it wouldn’t hold up!
So she takes the bag off and sets it on the floor, she then steps into it and lies down inside it, so I ask the manager if I can zip it up, and he says sure! I zip it closed and heaved it over my shoulder and carried her across the store!
When I unzipped the bag the poor gal was so relieved and the co workers as well as several customers all busted up laughing, the real funny part is that she still didn’t get it, another worker friend had to explain it to her!!! The manager high fived me and gave me a discount on the bag!
They posted the pictures in the break room with an explanation and captions!!!!!
Spomey
