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some little johnny jokes

D

deaner

Well-known member
Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

* * * * * * * * * * *
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,
'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'


* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny attended a horse auction withhis father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.'

* * * * * * * * * * *
 
A little girl's first day in school and a teacher was going to play a "guessing" game. She passed out items to each of the students and proceeded to ask each student what item they received. When it was the new girl, Susie's turn, the teacher gave her a candy kiss. She asked "Do you know what it is?"

Susie replied "No."

The teacher said, " Go ahead and open it up and taste it."

Little Sussie did so.

The teacher then asked, "Now do you know what it is?"

Little Sussie said "Nooooo."

The teacher said, "I'll give you a hint . . . it is something your daddy wants from your mommy every morning before he goes to work."

A little Johnny in the back of the class jumps up and screams "SUSSIE, SPIT IT OUT. . . . . . . . . . . . IT'S A PIECE OF ARSE!!!
 
A little girl's first day in school and a teacher was going to play a "guessing" game. She passed out items to each of the students and proceeded to ask each student what item they received. When it was the new girl, Susie's turn, the teacher gave her a candy kiss. She asked "Do you know what it is?"

Susie replied "No."

The teacher said, " Go ahead and open it up and taste it."

Little Sussie did so.

The teacher then asked, "Now do you know what it is?"

Little Sussie said "Nooooo."

The teacher said, "I'll give you a hint . . . it is something your daddy wants from your mommy every morning before he goes to work."

A little Johnny in the back of the class jumps up and screams "SUSSIE, SPIT IT OUT. . . . . . . . . . . . IT'S A PIECE OF ARSE!!!
yeah that is funny.
 
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