Small gestures have big affects on confidence.

[CoyoteGirl]

In an email chain this week with a fellow lady rider this small little thing came up, those small head shakes that many get from the guys when they either do something wrong or don’t do something that should/could have done. It is so small that I haven’t really noticed it, until now! My bet is that many out there don’t realize or notice it either. It’s a natural reaction in many situations and most would agree much better than screaming! But with each shake of the head a little bit of confidence is stripped away.

This is a huge confidence sport. It takes confidence in yourself, confidence in your skills, your machine, and your riding partners. If all of these don’t align it can start a snowball in the wrong direction. We see it all the time, first mistake/ stuck isn’t such a big deal, but that second one will start to wear on a rider’s confidence if they let it.

This isn’t meant to be an attack on the guys out there shaking their heads. This is just meant to hopefully bring into realization that, sometimes, even the smallest things have big results (good and bad!).

And ladies, this is partly your responsibility too! You need to speak up and say “when you (insert thing) it makes me feel (insert feeling) and I’d really like to work on my skills and it would greatly help me if you would work on not (insert action)”. Likewise, if you think something might help you with your day, speak up on that too. “If today we could go do this, work on this, not do that…. It would help me build my confidence and skills”. A little communication, in a non-threatening manner and time ie pre-ride not during said moment, might just make a huge difference in those struggling and soooo wishing deep inside that they could just get that maneuver down and move on to being the next backcountry boondocking badassss.

Would love to hear your thoughts. And if someone tries this and it makes a difference, or totally blows up... lol I would love to hear your stories!

 

[2fun4u]

Well said

I just had this conversation with someone last weekend. It is simply amazing to me that although things are said in jest, your riding and attitude about how you are riding changes SO much when someone "pokes fun" at something you have done.

And when they comment on something you feel good about, it makes it even better!

Verbal cues are huge!

Thanks B for bringing this up!

T

 

[Skadi]

Two things to say about this.... sometimes we read too much into it.... (I had to learn this with D, I swear, if he LOOKED at me when I was stuck I would yell at him not to 'look at me like that'... I was a little on the touchy side so I needed to learn to back off!!) However, there are totally situations where it's not all in our heads! I flat out told D one time he wasn't allowed with me on filming trips cause he would put doubt in my head before a big pull or jump. He wouldn't mean to, he just cared about me and wanted to make sure I considered what I would do if I failed... For me, I always consider that stuff, I don't need a reminder and the reminder saps my confidence.... so, I said he needed to shape up or he couldn't come along! He shaped up (it also helped that he got to know me better and realized I wasn't overly risky and that I kinda did know how to ride a wee bit so I wasn't just throwing caution to the wind when I would climb chutes or take a nasty line over a cliff!)


good subject B... good for ANYONE teaching someone and for ANYONE learning! Don't make the faces or make someone feel guilty or like a failure as the teacher and as the student, don't be ultra sensitive to it!!

 

[duke1n]

Shakes his head.... hahaha

 

[RMK7SledHead]

Shakes his head.... hahaha

Yo bro, what're you driving these days? Haven't seen any sick posts about the GT or CTD lately.

Looking at a Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT-8 for my wife...what say you about the big Hemi?

 

[duke1n]

Sweet ride! Can she handle that much power hahaha!

 

[EagleRiverDee]

Good thread- I think that you're right that small negative gestures can erode a new rider's confidence. Well said. I know a lot of women who have said they won't ride with their boyfriend/husband because of that type of thing.

 

[CoyoteGirl]

My my Duke! Long time!

 

[RMK7SledHead]

Sweet ride! Can she handle that much power hahaha!

She kills hadji for a living...I don't think a little horsepower scares her.

The disapproving head shake just motivates my wife.

 

[Vinnee]

My my Duke! Long time!

Ok, guilty as charged!

Would have been allot easier if you sent me a P.M...... "Vinnee, quit shaking your head".... LOL

 

[Blk88GT]

If I'm riding with the guys and shake my head at them and they want to talk about feelings and needs.... it's gonna get ugly.

 

[Xrider]

I don't even know how girls have time to snowmobile with all the cooking and cleaning that needs to get done.

 

[zalez]

I took my gf up last weekend which was her first time. She had a disadvantage before we even started. She hurt her knee pretty bad the night before by slipping on a curved sidewalk. I tried to cancel but she said no way.

Couple things I did for her was:

Lots of encouragement. When she was stuck (not really stuck) I just showed her how to get it out but told her it wasn't a good idea for her to do it with her knee being hurt.

Told her about my first time and how very similar it was to hers. We all have to start some where and only very few are born naturals (I wasn't one of them).

Yes this might sound soft or what not but I gave her lots of hugs. I just wanted to let her know that I wanted her there.

 

[Blk88GT]

Hugging while sledding!?

Man card = revoked

 

[zalez]

Lol, I normally wouldn't. And no I won't hug you

But she is the type that gets discouraged pretty easy. She needs it and i'm willing to give it. Can I have my man card back?

Hugging while sledding!?

Man card = revoked

 

[PJ-Hunter]

I have ridden with a few women. I can say I have never shook my head or rolled my eyes at them. I help and offer encouragement. Women are more sensitive to criticism and it affects them more Now, their BFs, husbands, brothers, etc .... I'll roll my eyes, shake my head and tell them how it is.

If a guy says he can hang, do anything and we shouldn't worry, and he ends up not hanging, can do sh*t and makes everybody worry, he gets blasted by all in the group and pretty damn hard

 

[DanB]

Sweet ride! Can she handle that much power hahaha!

duke, you are a constant in the Snowest universe.

 

[duke1n]

Some would say like a rash probably ha. My trash talk is mellowing with age but I couldn't help myself on this thread. Woman complaining about getting their feelings hurt... Since women are evil little creatures that have no feelings, I call BS lol.

 

[CoyoteGirl]

Some would say like a rash probably ha. My trash talk is mellowing with age but I couldn't help myself on this thread. Woman complaining about getting their feelings hurt... Since women are evil little creatures that have no feelings, I call BS lol.

Bwahahaha! Killing me.

This thread is meant to help those who A- have a girl, B - have a girl that sleds and C - might want that girl to continue sledding.

Judging by the replies of some that one or more of these criteria doesn't apply to them.


Signed,
Evil Creature Extraordinare

And Em has a good point, many times it is is all in our heads, we read into these things. But, still.... You guys know women are sensitive little buggers, don't give us things to read into! LMAO

 

[coyoteman]

Took my wife several years ago for her first time in the mountains. All the laughing I did when she tried to climb a tree with my brand new sled was not a good thing. We finally got her to get back on and she ended up havin a pretty good time.