B
buck50
ACCOUNT CLOSED
> RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA:
>
>
>
> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
>
>
> 2. Let's get this straight, it's called a gravel road. I drive a
>
> Pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
>
> to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
>
>
>
> 3. They are pigs, cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like
>
> to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Highway
>
> No. 2 goes south and No. 1 goes east and west. Pick one.
>
>
>
> 4. So, you drive a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed.
>
> We have a quarter-million dollar Combine that we drive three weeks a
>
> year.
>
>
>
> 5. So, every person in a pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
>
> Try to understand the concept.
>
>
>
> 6. We started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah,
>
> we saw "Bambi" too. We got over it.
>
>
>
> 7. If a cell phone rings when ducks are coming in, we shoot it out of
>
> your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
>
> time.
>
>
>
> 8. Yeah, we eat beef and pork. You want sushi and caviar? It's
>
> available at the corner bait shop.
>
>
>
> 9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
>
> religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
>
> November.
>
>
>
> 10. We open doors for women. This applies to everyone regardless of
>
> age.
>
>
>
> 11. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
>
> Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
>
> off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
>
>
>
> 12. When we set a table there are three main dishes: meats,
>
> vegetables and breads. We use three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
>
>
>
> 13. You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served
>
> over ice and plenty of it!
>
>
>
> 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it
>
> spooks the fish.
>
>
>
> 15. Colleges? Try Lethbridge College. They come outta there with an
>
> education and a love for God and country,and they still wave
>
> at passing pickup trucks when they come home for the holidays.
>
>
>
> 16. We have more Air Force and Army than any other Province, so,
>
> "Don't Mess with Alberta".
>
>
>
> 17. Our military is only used as a backup. Per capita, each man,
>
> woman and child owns at least two firearms and knows how to use them.
>
>
>
> 18. Also, remember that Ralph (our ex-Premier) once said, Alberta can
>
> make it without Canada, but Canada can't make it without Alberta.
>
>
>
> Who says we are rednecks??? We were under the impression everyone else
>
> was just backwards!
>
>
>
> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
>
>
> 2. Let's get this straight, it's called a gravel road. I drive a
>
> Pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
>
> to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
>
>
>
> 3. They are pigs, cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like
>
> to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Highway
>
> No. 2 goes south and No. 1 goes east and west. Pick one.
>
>
>
> 4. So, you drive a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed.
>
> We have a quarter-million dollar Combine that we drive three weeks a
>
> year.
>
>
>
> 5. So, every person in a pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
>
> Try to understand the concept.
>
>
>
> 6. We started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah,
>
> we saw "Bambi" too. We got over it.
>
>
>
> 7. If a cell phone rings when ducks are coming in, we shoot it out of
>
> your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
>
> time.
>
>
>
> 8. Yeah, we eat beef and pork. You want sushi and caviar? It's
>
> available at the corner bait shop.
>
>
>
> 9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
>
> religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
>
> November.
>
>
>
> 10. We open doors for women. This applies to everyone regardless of
>
> age.
>
>
>
> 11. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
>
> Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
>
> off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
>
>
>
> 12. When we set a table there are three main dishes: meats,
>
> vegetables and breads. We use three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
>
>
>
> 13. You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served
>
> over ice and plenty of it!
>
>
>
> 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it
>
> spooks the fish.
>
>
>
> 15. Colleges? Try Lethbridge College. They come outta there with an
>
> education and a love for God and country,and they still wave
>
> at passing pickup trucks when they come home for the holidays.
>
>
>
> 16. We have more Air Force and Army than any other Province, so,
>
> "Don't Mess with Alberta".
>
>
>
> 17. Our military is only used as a backup. Per capita, each man,
>
> woman and child owns at least two firearms and knows how to use them.
>
>
>
> 18. Also, remember that Ralph (our ex-Premier) once said, Alberta can
>
> make it without Canada, but Canada can't make it without Alberta.
>
>
>
> Who says we are rednecks??? We were under the impression everyone else
>
> was just backwards!
