Yesterday I was at Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal
pet Sheriff the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to
do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I
stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Walmart won't let me
shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
pet Sheriff the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to
do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I
stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Walmart won't let me
shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
