Motorcycle press releases

[Abominable]

At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine, makers of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational equipment, unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style motorcycles designed to compete head to head with industry leader Harley-Davidson.

Peter Long, Johnson's Brands Marketing Manager said, "We have studied the market and determined that Harley, while highly successful, has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle buyers." Long added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the target dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley Davidson in a way no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish."

The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has only promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is what Harley buyers are really after." At the unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley owners agree. "When I bought my Harley, what I really needed was a Big Johnson," said one Harley owner. "But I see now that riding a Harley is no replacement for having a Big Johnson."

Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the image of having one."

Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this - You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not likely to have both."

"Given the choice," said Long, "I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."

Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their partner spending $20,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when asked if they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to get their partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be money well spent.

One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying, "There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 20 grand on another one of those Harleys, but 20 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."

Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell."

Big Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange under the abbreviation PNSNV

 

[Abominable]

Harley announces new engine for 2009 model year

Harley Davidson announced that in it will introduce the newest model of engine to their lineup, the DKH “Dickhead” Super Single. Where the engine differs is in design. It will be a massive, eighty eight cubic inch single cylinder air cooled motor supported on twin ball bearing mounts for maximum rigidity. The shape of the valve cover is instantly both easily recognizable and unforgettable. Of course, it will be shaft driven for the final drive.

“It’s definitely a work of art.” Miriam Baxter said, looking at the test model. “I get excited on so many levels just looking at it.”

When asked about the new changes in design philosophy, a spokesman at the Motor Company said “we wanted to give the customers something they could really relate to. We think that the new Dickhead really represents our traditional, core buyers and what they look for in a Harley Davidson product.”

When asked why the company has gone to a single cylinder model, we were told that vibration was far less than the older V-twin model even though the Dickhead still has all the power of the classic V-twin which it will eventually replace in the years to come. The sound of the new engine is somewhat different as well, being only a single cylinder, but the exhaust pipe is chrome plated and rather huge with one tester even referring to it as “veiny” in nature. Our test model was evidently a press beater, and the chrome pipe showed signs of blueing through constant flogging.

And what does the new Dickhead engine sound like?

“Where the classic sound of the old engine was similar to ‘potato-potato,’” Said a HD design team spokesman, “this new engine sounds more like ‘unf-unf’ and it only gets faster in tempo the more you get down on it.”

“There’s just something about this new engine.” One test rider commented. “I can’t really explain, but when I hop on this thing, I know it’s going to be a great ride.”

The new Dickhead will take its place among the ranks of other notable Harley engines such as the Knucklehead, the Panhead, and the Shovelhead. The spokesman added “We believe the Dickhead is really going to fill some holes in the market.”

Most of the current models will receive a new Dickhead engine as will a yet unnamed new model. Our inside sources say that the mystery model is probably going to be a Dickhead paired with an entry level Sportster, which really won’t be all that surprising.

At first, look for a slow trickle of Dickheads to start showing up at the dealerships as the company closes down its 105th anniversary celebration and ramps up for full production of the new models. Corporate sources also tell us that soon after that, all of the dealerships should be chock full of Dickheads.

“It will be standing room only when all of the Dickheads hit the sales floor.” A spokesperson commented.

“The Harley Dickhead. It’s what we’re going to base our new corporate sales policy around. We’re totally committed to getting all the Dickheads we can into our dealerships.” The company spokesman said. “That’s where we’re really going to see a jump in profit, from sales made off of all of the Dickheads."

The Harley Davidson Dickhead. If you haven’t seen one yet, just stop by your local Harley Davidson dealership where you’ll find several on display.

 

[shortstop20]

 

[Sidehiller]

At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine, makers of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational equipment, unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style motorcycles designed to compete head to head with industry leader Harley-Davidson.

Peter Long, Johnson's Brands Marketing Manager said, "We have studied the market and determined that Harley, while highly successful, has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle buyers." Long added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the target dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley Davidson in a way no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish."

The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has only promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is what Harley buyers are really after." At the unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley owners agree. "When I bought my Harley, what I really needed was a Big Johnson," said one Harley owner. "But I see now that riding a Harley is no replacement for having a Big Johnson."

Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the image of having one."

Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this - You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not likely to have both."

"Given the choice," said Long, "I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."

Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their partner spending $20,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when asked if they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to get their partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be money well spent.

One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying, "There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 20 grand on another one of those Harleys, but 20 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."

Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell."

Big Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange under the abbreviation PNSNV

Now I know why I never felt the need to own a Harley!

 

[Ex-Member]

[No message]

 

[redlineguy]

.

 

[HawkShot99]

So who wants to admit they have a Harley, and don't have a Big Johnson?

 

[M.M. 700]

"It’s definitely a work of art.” Miriam Baxter said, looking at the test model. “I get excited on so many levels just looking at it.”


Gets excitied looking at a motor that looks like Dickhead? It is allready working for some

 

[M.M. 700]

“I can’t really explain, but when I hop on this thing, I know it’s going to be a great ride.”


WELL THEN


"We believe the Dickhead is really going to fill some holes in the market.”

ya.....everyone that buys one

 

[Abominable]

Motorcycle Online Interviews CEO of Big Johnson Motorcycles

Following the unveiling of the all new Big Johnson motorcycle earlier
this week, M.O. took the opportunity to interview Peter Long, Big
Johnson product manager. The transcript follows:

M.O.: Mr. Long, essentially what distinguishes the Big Johnson from
other models, especially Harley Davidson?
Long: Thats easy, a Big Johnson has a longer stroke, bigger bore and
is, of course, shaft drive.

M.O.: What about servicing?
Long: A Big Johnson should be serviced regularly, and with proper use
of lubricants will last its owner a lifetime. In fact, the older a Big
Johnson is, the less frequently it is likely to need servicing. Some of
the oldest Big Johnsons in our fleet show almost no need for servicing.
As for regular care, wash you Big Johnson with warm water, mild soap and
a soft cloth. Never use abrasives of strong solvents on a Big Johnson.

M.O.: We have heard that some Big Johnsons are difficult to start.
Long: No more than any other model, really. After a ride, a Big Johnson
may be reluctant to re-start immediately. Let it rest a bit, and it
should be good to go again. In fact, dont worry if you notice a little
smoke after a ride. This is common and smoking after a ride may help a
Big Johnson recover faster.

M.O.: A lot of Harley Davidson riders admit privately that would love
to have a Big Johnson, but wonder how their riding buddies will react.
Long: I understand their concern. I think your buddies will have respect
for a Big Johnson, and perhaps some envy. However, don?t expect to hear
a lot of comments one way or the other. It seems to be an unwritten code
among Harley riders not to comment on another riders Big Johnson. If
they have one themselves, they, of course, want everyone to know. Then
again, you might have a riding buddy that turns out to be really
attracted to your Big Johnson. He might even ask about taking a ride on
your Big Johnson. I can tell you right now that this is NOT the kind of
friend you want. When it comes to judging your friends, having a big
Johnson will separate the men from the?. Well, you know.

M.O.: What colors does a Big Johnson come in?
Long: This is a topic that is hotly debated, and quite frankly I would
rather not get into the subject at this time.

M.O: Thank You.

 

[shortstop20]

Harley-Davidson: 1/2 the technology for twice the price.

 

[SAWYER]

hahahahahahaha

 

[onlyrotax]

Harley-Davidson: 1/2 the technology for twice the price.

If cannot dazzle them with technololgy, why not deafen them with noise.