Dear Santa Claus, wherever you are
be nice to my sledhead friends
Let their sleds run hard in perfect tune
and give them power that never ends
May they ride the high and hidden bowls
white with sparkling powder, deep
Pray their digital transceivers
never make nary a beep
May all their jumps and whips and hucks
land smooth with the greatest of ease
And when they're dangling in the tight stuff
Let them miss the rocks and trees
May all their wrecks be few, but funny
and caught on film for posterity
So we can laugh and point and say
"Man, I'm glad that wasn't me"
So as you work your way across the West
bringing gifts to all the good girls and boys
Could you please do us all a big favor
and give the Antis, who hate us, bleeding hemorrhoids!!!
Merry Christmas everybody! Have a flawless 13/14 season!