Island

[fourthmeal]

A cruise ship in the open sea encounters rough weather and sinks. Two survivors, a man and a woman, are able to grab on to some floating debris and make it to a deserted island. The woman, who turns out to be Heidi Klum, washes ashore unconscious and is revived by the man.
“Thank you for saving my life,” Heidi says. I will do anything to show my gratitude—anything.
Thus, they become lovers.
After a few weeks, Heidi notices that the man is despondent.
“What’s wrong?” Heidi asks.
“Well, you’re great, and the island has been great, but something seems to be missing.”
“What can I do to help?” Heidi asks.
“You know, there might be something,” he replies. “Let’s try this: first, we’ll switch clothes, and then I would like you to draw a little moustache and sideburns on your face using the soot from the fire.”
Heidi is puzzled, but she complies and eventually her appearance is more masculine.
“Now,” the man says, “I am going to walk west around the island, and you walk east. In an hour or so, we’ll meet up.”
Heidi agrees, and they go their separate ways.
After about an hour, the man sees Heidi, dressed as a man, approaching. As they get closer, he runs up to her and says,
“Dude, you are not going to believe who I’ve been sleeping with!”

 

[fourthmeal]

Related Question

Two hillbillies were sitting on the front porch drinking moonshine.
One says to the other, "If, one of these days when you're out hunting, I go into your house, make love to your wife, get her pregnant, and then you start raising the kid as your own while being none the wiser, would that make us related?"
The other one responded, "No, but it would make us even."

 

[fourthmeal]

Talking to Animals

A traveling salesman goes to a farm house.
The farmer goes, 'I could put you up for one night, but you'll have to stay in the barn.'
So he spends the night there and the next morning the farmer comes in, he goes, 'Were you comfortable?'
He goes, 'I had a great time; I talked to all the animals.'
He says, 'You talked to the animals?'
He goes, 'Yeah I spoke to the chickens, they say you collect the eggs every morning exactly at five minutes after six.'
He says, 'That's exactly right.'
He says, 'The horse tells me his name is Otis, you've owned him for 10 years.'
He says, 'That's incredible.'
And he goes, 'I spoke to the cow, the cow says that her name is Elsie and you milk her every morning at exactly 8:30.
He says, 'Amazing.'
'And then I spoke to the sheep.'
And the farmer goes, 'Those sheep are lying’.

 

[skibreeze]

lol

 

[Scott]

HAHAHAHAHA.