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George W Bush (resume)

S

speeddemon

Well-known member
GEORGE W. BUSH's RESUME:
I will be available in January 2009, am willing to relocate.
( Please don't skip the last section !)

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire, " Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election)

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW!
 
hahaha lot of that is pretty far fetched, love the word play on the "convicted criminals" other than that this thread is pretty usless imo
 
yeah .............and that friends is the Paul harvey ......on that

and thats from a guy on the outside lookin in ....................
 
Cool show us Bill Clintons resume. :)

Here I found Hillary's Resume:

White Water.
Dead bodies.
Health Care Zar.
First Lady.
Fired at by snipers in war zone, serving my country.
Pardons for donors.

Obama's Resume:
Senator for almost one term.
 
Cool show us Bill Clintons resume. :)

Here I found Hillary's Resume:

White Water.
Dead bodies.
Health Care Zar.
First Lady.
Fired at by snipers in war zone, serving my country.
Pardons for donors.

Obama's Resume:
Senator for almost one term.

that's a gooder.

I like the bard about foreclosures. Not his fault or the governments fault people rode teh short bus to the bank and over extended themselves, or that the bankers have a short bus as well.
 
^^^yeah, everyone wants to blame it on bush instead of taking responsibility for it
 
Well, I'm not from USA, but imho the country will go to sheet if the democrats get in. The country is in a war and they have no credible solutions. They merely sit back and complain about what everyone else does. The drivel about GWB is unsubstantiated propaganda. I love it when people post stuff like that with no source to back them up. Phhhht...:cool:
 
Posting like yours crack me up. You contend one thing without backing it up yet you discount something because there is nothing to back it up!?!?!?!?!?:confused::rolleyes:
Well, I'm not from USA, but imho the country will go to sheet if the democrats get in. The country is in a war and they have no credible solutions. They merely sit back and complain about what everyone else does. The drivel about GWB is unsubstantiated propaganda. I love it when people post stuff like that with no source to back them up. Phhhht...:cool:
 
I love the part that says" PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW!" News Flash you can't vote for him, so why bother ! ! !

PS Justa, the Fonz was cool, your a tool, go back to France.
 
A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many
of them were Obama fans.


Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by
the teacher,


all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.


The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be
different...again.


Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."


The teacher asked, "Why aren't you an Obama fan?"


Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."


The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.


Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a
Republican,


so I'm a Republican."


Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,


"If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot,


what would that make you?"


With a big smile, Little Johnny replied,


"That would make me an Obama fan."


In my best Foghorn Leghorn voice, "It's a joke son ! !"
 
Last edited:
A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many
of them were Obama fans.


Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by
the teacher,


all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.


The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be
different...again.


Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."


The teacher asked, "Why aren't you an Obama fan?"


Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."


The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.


Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a
Republican,


so I'm a Republican."


Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,


"If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot,


what would that make you?"


With a big smile, Little Johnny replied,


"That would make me an Obama fan."


In my best Foghorn Leghorn voice, "It's a joke son ! !"



thats funny man !!!!
mike:D
 
It has been reported that George W. Bush has recently purchased a 98,842 acre farm in Northern Paraguay. What on earth does the President of the United States need a 98,000+ acre farm in Northern Paraguay for?

Does Bush plan on being charged with something in the future? Does Bush foresee a collapse of the United States and feels a strong need to have a place to cut and run to, or does Bush just need a nice secret little place other than Gitmo where he can send people he doesn't like?

Why might the president and his family need a 98,840-acre ranch in Paraguay protected by a semi-secret U.S. military base manned by American troops who have been exempted from war-crimes prosecution by the Paraguayan government?
 
It has been reported that George W. Bush has recently purchased a 98,842 acre farm in Northern Paraguay. What on earth does the President of the United States need a 98,000+ acre farm in Northern Paraguay for?

Does Bush plan on being charged with something in the future? Does Bush foresee a collapse of the United States and feels a strong need to have a place to cut and run to, or does Bush just need a nice secret little place other than Gitmo where he can send people he doesn't like?

Why might the president and his family need a 98,840-acre ranch in Paraguay protected by a semi-secret U.S. military base manned by American troops who have been exempted from war-crimes prosecution by the Paraguayan government?

ok, I'll bite, but as dude says, lets see something to back this one up-great joke sturgis, keepem comin
 
Ok, that was funny!!!:D I especially like the (in my fog horn leghorn voice) part!!
A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many
of them were Obama fans.


Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by
the teacher,


all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.


The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be
different...again.


Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."


The teacher asked, "Why aren't you an Obama fan?"


Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."


The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.


Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a
Republican,


so I'm a Republican."


Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,


"If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot,


what would that make you?"


With a big smile, Little Johnny replied,


"That would make me an Obama fan."


In my best Foghorn Leghorn voice, "It's a joke son ! !"
 
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