buying/living in parents house

[Spiced Wafer]

so how many of you on here have moved into their parents home after one of/or both of them have passed on.

was it wierd at first. did you get used to it, or was it no big deal?


my father is sick with cancer and we have made somewhat of a arrangement for the family home to stay in the family.

 

[xrated]

no real exact life expeirence like you have Wafe...

But my parents were given their home by my dads Dad....only 200 yards from my grandparents house. The understanding was that my dad would be available to help out around the place and to help my grandparents out, mainly my grandma if and when my gramps passes(20 years now).

I know it's worked out well, but if your mom is still around(in house), it can get very trying on YOUR wife and kids and you as well.

I think everything should be ok if you and Tim maybe agree to share what comes up, or if some ground rules are laid with Mom about respecting your families needs, etc.

Good luck and I'm still pulling for your old man!

 

[superdoo]

yup

know exactly what you are going through
dad got sick and passed away, I was 18
lived there with mom and sis for a year then sis moved out
2 more years and mom built a house with new BF out of town
mom wasnt ready to sell so I just "rented" as she wanted to be fair to sis and not give a freebie

finally mom agreed to sell
I bought, thought I would never leave

got married, had baby, reno'd the whole basement which took 1.5 years and during that time spent not much time with wife and baby. started to see how much more work the house would need for upkeep, 30yrs old.

started thinking about more of a newer place in a better area that I wont have to fix up and always be working on.

so my "loyalties" to the house started changing a bit as I wanted a home that would facilitate more free time and be more about cutting grass and house cleaning, than changing windows and replacing lawn.

once you decide to move on , until the day actaully arrives it seems to get easier and easier as you have come to terms with the change. but dont get me wrong, walking out that door for the last time, leaving the home that my mom and dad created for us, was the very very hard.
Kinda felt like I was letting my family down a bit, but mom and sis knew it was time to move on.

still drive by once in a while.
its a rental now and lots of the other neighbors have left too.
everything changes.

 

[Spiced Wafer]

the one advantage, is mom won't be with us. it will be our house.

also they have a great location, lake views and close to downtown. the house is in great shape, wouldn't need to do anything to the place besides put our finishing touchs on it.

thanks guys


x thank you, you rock!

 

[Nate]

Mom left dad 2 years ago for her boss. Since then ive put about $60,000 of my own money into the house she abandoned as my dad and I live in it. He asked me to stay with him and help get the house paid off and in turn if I didnt want to buy him out I would get my money back and then some.

So far its been okay, we split everything down the middle, he refinanced the house for a larger payment for half the time it will take to pay off and everything works out. I go to work at 6:30 AM and dont get home till 8-10pm some nights between long hours and going to school full time. We are both electricians so we get along for the most part. He found himself a fiance now and I think im going to buy him out of the house. I guess I would be stupid not to. But I have my doubts being 20 years old and purchasing a 3100sq/ft house. He has made me an offer I cant refuse, but I find it hard to take care of such a house while working 10-14hrs a day 5-7 days a week and going to school full time in the evenings

So thats where my life is at. My mom moved away and I dont hear much from her and my dad and I stay pretty close for the most part. When he moves out ill probably move a friend in and continue life. When my sister graduates college this spring and cant find a student teaching position she can move up here and live for free till she gets on her feet. Of course she has to clean this damn house

And needless to say my sled will get a bay to itself in the garage instead of the fourwheelers and trucks

 

[SAWYER]

My sister lives in my grandparnets old house. I'll have to ask her what it's like

 

[xrated]

roommates Nate....especially with your hours.

 

[coyoteman]

i moved into the home my grandparents built. My uncle and aunt moved in to take over the farming operation years ago and raised their kids there. My uncle passed away in 93 so his wife was bought out of the operation. My dads sister move in then i bought it from her in 2001. it was a little different at first, but I am very happy it worked out today.

 

[AZ800]

Would be real weird moving into the house I grew up in, IMO. That house is sold though....and I'd never move back to IL unless someone offered me a LARGE sum of money to do so.
Mom currently lives in N WI on a lake, vey nice home, dad passed away right before they moved.
I stand to inherit that home when the day comes and I'd have no problem living there, as I have no emotional attachment to the house...other than I built it. It would just be a vacation home anyway for me and the property has been in the family for 4 generations now.
That place would actually be tough to sell, as we vacationed there every year when I was a kid, had an old trailer we "camped" in.

 

[flatlander_99]

I think im going to buy him out of the house. I guess I would be stupid not to. But I have my doubts being 20 years old and purchasing a 3100sq/ft house. He has made me an offer I cant refuse, but I find it hard to take care of such a house while working 10-14hrs a day 5-7 days a week and going to school full time in the evenings

When my sister graduates college this spring and cant find a student teaching position she can move up here and live for free till she gets on her feet. Of course she has to clean this damn house

you are right, take advantage of the offer now because you will probably never find anything that good again. if you have put that much into the house that means it is only worth more. equity always helps! i don't know many people that are smart enough to buy a house at 20 but you will do just fine. responsibility is the key & you got your head on straight nate (well for the most part ) don't worry about keeping the house clean cause if it is just you there you won't get it dirty anyway! otherwise rent a room to a friend & it will also help make the house payment. my fience did that & he worked all the time too & they also kept the house clean that way too.
not everyone can say they have a bro like you that would help them get on their feet. if she is smart she will take you up on that offer too!
good luck!!!

 

[Blk88GT]

Interesting and well timed topic.

My dad built the house in 1977 and lived there with us until 1992 when my parents split and dad bought his own place a mile away.

The house has now come up for sale and I'm contemplating relocating my family there. Small down, right down the road from a bunch of my family, the farm, etc. It would mean another hour to my commute though, which is the only sticking point so far.

Still think it would be cool to raise my kids in the house that "grampa" built.

 

[Ex-Member]

I live in the same neighborhood I grew up in, that's weird enough. Dont' think I could move into the old house.

 

[Oregongirl]

My step-father died unexpectedly in 2000. My Mom would have never been able to keep the home we all grew up in without help. One of my sisters and her husband were expecting their first child and renting. So, they moved into the house to help Mom out. They rented from her and she helped with the new baby. It was healing for everyone involved. The grief we all had over losing my step-dad (an Amazing MAN!) was deep and long lasting.

After 5 years or so, Sis and hubby bought the home and Mom became the renter. Mom eventually remarried and now her and her new husband are full-time RVers and summer at the house in their RV.

Pitfalls and advice based on what you've said so far.....don't wait to make the house yours! The longer you let the same furniture, wall hangings, etc. stay, the harder it will be on the family when you do start changing things. Do it when the wounds are open (so to speak). Neither woman in my story changed anything for years! Then when one of them did, the other got hurt/sad/pissy. Set clear expectations with the family about traditions. Was Christmas ALWAYS there? Do you want that to continue? Those sorts of things.

Sorry to hear about your father.

 

[triple]

My oldest brother lives in the house that my grandfather built. When my grandparents died, my Dad and his 2 brothers settled out the house and my brother bought it from the 3 brothers. He views it as a bit of a legacy. He's the first born and was given the first right of refusal. OF course he's had to do a million up dates to the house to make it his but it's still Grampa's house. I get a little emotional (in a good way) when I go there.

 

[Spiced Wafer]

Pitfalls and advice based on what you've said so far.....don't wait to make the house yours! The longer you let the same furniture, wall hangings, etc. stay, the harder it will be on the family when you do start changing things. Do it when the wounds are open (so to speak). Neither woman in my story changed anything for years! Then when one of them did, the other got hurt/sad/pissy. Set clear expectations with the family about traditions. Was Christmas ALWAYS there? Do you want that to continue? Those sorts of things. Sorry to hear about your father.[/QUOTE]



this is stuff that we have discusssed. my mom is not a material type person. she wants to take some stuff for her memories, i want to keep some stuff as well and same with brother and aunts and uncles etc....

she has told me that the furniture will go and that you(me) need to make sure that this place is your house and not mine. change what you want changed etc....

the family traditions as far as christmas has always taken place their. my father is the oldest in the family, so the family has always gone to their house for the holidays...this would be quite different or wierd if it was somewhere else...

thank's guys...and gals

 

[chadincolo]

Growing up on the land my great-great grandparents and uncles homesteaded, it's kind of weird NOT living on the family place...kind of enjoy going out and working on stuff that my family built, put together, kept together... Getting ready to rebuild the foundation on the barn that my was moved a mile when they bought the neighbor's place sometime in the 30's or so...(only one person still around when it was moved, I asked him one time and he didn't remember just when they moved it...he's now in his late 80's and won't be with us much longer ) Grandpa's name is one of the names on the blade of a windmill in town, sold blades as a fundraiser for the town, think it was in the 40's...have records of great great grandpa being in the area in 1897, when the town would have been a rail stop surrounded by open prarie and still indian territory and not much more. Roots run deep...

 

[catcollector]

you are right, take advantage of the offer now because you will probably never find anything that good again. if you have put that much into the house that means it is only worth more. equity always helps! i don't know many people that are smart enough to buy a house at 20 but you will do just fine.

2o may seem young to you now, but in time you will bw glad you took this opporunity of buying the house. The time will fly by right in front of your own eyes with as many hours you work plus school. Before you know it you will have a special lady to share that house with and little ones to fill the house, then it will not seem to big. Good luck!