Snowmobiling Is the Best

If you are reading this article, you are probably a snowmobiler. Which means you get it. But here’s the thing: it’s really hard to explain the thrill of snowmobiling to people who have never done it, and especially to people who say they never want to try. Living in a rock climbing town, this is actually most of the people in my life.

After many failed attempts to explain why snowmobiling is the greatest sport in the world, here are the points I find myself telling my non-sledneck friends. 

1. It’s hard, like really hard. Have you ever tried wrestling a 500-pound snow leopard on a bed of quicksand? Yeah, it’s not that easy. I have never been more sore from any activity in my life. Even the basic techniques to maneuver the sled are insanely difficult.

2. You can color outside of the lines. Technically there are trails in snowmobiling, but the trails are more like a combination of a lame children’s roller coaster and a Tabata squat* workout. Instead of sticking to the trails, you can go wherever you want. There is something magical about coming over the rise of a hill and seeing a blank canvas of untracked snow … again and again and again. To try and put this in context for backcountry skiers*, I say, “You know how you go heli-skiing or cat-skiing so you can cover tons of terrain in one day? Well, snowmobiling is like that. Except sledders have significantly less environmental impact when they ride a snowmobile for a weekend than you do when you fly to Canada to take a bunch of helicopter rides.” #justsayin

3. You will get stuck. I was shocked to learn even the best riders get stuck … a lot. Riding in technical terrain or pushing your limits always results in a few “stucks” on the day. And by a few I mean up to 40. Interestingly, snowmobilers have an approach to solving these tricky scenarios the rest of the world could learn from:

Step 1. Take a picture of the stuck human/sled then ask if he is ok.  

Step 2. Brainstorm best strategy to remove human/sled from said stuck position.

Step 3. Get every member of your group to start stomping, digging, and pulling. It’s a 500-pound snow leopard, remember? 

Step 4. Go get stuck again. And if you were the last one stuck, try to wait like 10 minutes before you get stuck again (my average is only up to like eight minutes). 

Step 5. Laugh at pictures of stuck human/sled in the bar at the end of the day.

It’s a good model for problem solving. If only Congress worked liked this. 

4. You get to wear radios, which is just as fun as having walkie-talkies when you were a kid. Suffice to say, crap talking is on point in this sport.